Time to Start Again

ok, so Ironman is over. It's time to reconnoitre, check my goals and refocus. I spent the morning evaluating last years goals (see goals page) and hmmm, while many goals were terrible failures, others I achieved and I am very pleased. Perhaps I was a tad too ambitious. So this year I have kept them very simple. One for each discipline, and a few extras to keep me focused in the right direction.

2013 Goals

1. Follow Coach's plan with honesty and consistency
2. Reach my Olympic race weight (59kgs)
3. Learn to run again
4. Work on swim technique and form
5. Work on strength and raise avg riding pace
6. Stretch and do my core/strength exercises religiously

I simply can't move forward until I can run again. So focus is on run and what I need to do to get there again. I'll keep you posted.

Sammi Vs The Gorilla

A few weeks before Ironman I was having physio on my itb and while I was there Coach asked about how the mental prep was going, did I have any questions about nutrition etc and how was life in general. I knew that the balance at home with Gazza was slightly off kilter. Long hours training and being apart, tiredness and both focusing on our impending race had left the marriage, not in trouble but rather, on hold. But we agreed that 20 years of marriage could hold us for just a little longer. Coach asked me how I was feeling about Ironman. I was ready, I said I felt 'Ironman is like fighting a Gorilla. You don't stop fighting when you get tired, you stop when the Gorilla cries Uncle!' He laughed and said 'good analogy Sammi.'

Two days before I was to step into the ring with my Gorilla, the Crew met with Coach for some last minute thoughts and motivation. Coach talked about the obstacles we might face on the day; tiredness, walls, the highs and lows. He gave us strategies for coping with each. With years of racing experience under his belt, his words were gold.

The big day unfolded and as the heavy weights stepped into the water I found myself swept along feeling comfortable and at ease. The usual punch and shove in the water, all a normal part of training and had been well rehearsed. I was happy with my swim and as I gathered my bike bag I ticked round one off in my head. Ok, two to go.

Away on the bike with my family and the crowds cheering us on and a blast from the megaphone as Coach shouted our names and words of encouragement. I found the hills easy as we travelled out of town and along the straight. I was turning the legs over comfortably when I came upon a familiar shape. Here was Gazza on the side of the road with a shredded tyre. I pulled up and saw that we was ok, smiling and waiting for the bike mechanics. He assured me he was ok. Coaches words ringing in my head. 'You need to run your own race.' There was nothing I could do to help, so I kept going.

On the second lap with 165+kms done I started to feel the legs were tiring. Hills were taking there toll and I found my head was starting to fill with negative thoughts. I'm tired, this hill is so big, it hurts. Again Coach's words came to the fore as he said this would happen. Replace the negative talk with positive and back the pace off for a short time you will come good again, check your nutrition, be your own best supporter. I got in some calories, took the pressure off my legs and focused on how far I had come so easily and how I still had loads of bikes around me. I told myself that I was proud of how far I had come already. Pretty soon the power was back in the legs and I put the final kms behind me. Round Two Done.

Round Three was always going to be tricky for me. With a pesky itb that had plagued me over the past few races, the running had been kept to a minimum. I saw Coach as I headed out. A quick high 5 and a reminder from him of our strategy to walk/run the marathon.

At 4kms into the run an all to familiar pain started to creep its way in. The itb was giving off warning shots that it wasn't happy and a nice big blister was forming on the bottom of my foot. It was at this point that I found myself with my back against the ropes and the Gorilla was landing some pretty nasty body blows.

I could feel I was falling hard and just as I was about to hit the canvas, a familiar footfall came up behind me. It was Gazza, He had caught up to me finally after pushing hard after a 45min wait for a new wheel. One look at my face told him everything and he hugged me. We walked on to an aid station. As we walked I tried hard to pull it back together. I told Gaz to keep going, that I would be ok. I was going to the toilet and I would get going again. He said ok. I entered the loo, sat down and sobbed. I have never cried during training or racing before. It was totally out of character but a sign that I had hit the wall hard. The Gorilla was winning!

Once again, Coach's words came ringing in my ears. 'When you hit the wall, find your motivation.' Images of my Grandma came to me, we don't have long with her and I wanted to honour her. I looked at my arm where my Dad's words are tattooed there, 'This Too Shall Pass', and I knew that it would, my mum with her words of 'put the pain in a box Sammi, put a lid down on it hard' and my daughter Keryn who I have always tried to instil in her strength, resilience and belief in herself. Ok, I had my motivation. And then an image came to me of Coach. He was out on the course dressed up, on his painted dragster bike with outrageous helmet and goggles with the megaphone at the ready, he was hilarious. I had found my happy thought and in that loo in only a couple of minutes I had gone from tears to laughing out loud. I was ready to go again. I opened the door and there stood Gazza, waiting patiently. He had lollies, coke and Gatorade ready to go. He had given up his race to run with me. I loved him more in that moment than I can ever describe. Ok, 'Let's kick its big hairy butt Sammi.'

We fell into step, me in front, Gazza behind and together we ran/walked the course. The pain never left, but the experience of running with Gary reunified us, of seeing my family and friends, the AP.10 Crew and hearing my name and words of encouragement from the crowd lifted me.

We entered the finishing chute and found my family and hugged them. I turned and there was Coach  larger than life. I hugged and thanked him for all he had done for me. I turned to Gary and together we ran the final few steps hand in hand to the cheers of the crowd.

As I crossed the black line I smiled to myself - and behind me from way off in the distance I heard the cry.......UNCLE!

My hero and me

Her Hands are Sweaty.............

Monday! Time to get up, stop yawning. Weigh-in day. Start of a new week and a realisation that there ain't no more I can do but wait for Sunday to roll around.

Looking back over my shoulder to last week and there was Thursday. A special day in Aus as we recognise our fallen and Kez was right there in amongst it with her swag of medals. An ANZAC dawn service for her and then a march in Sydney. Proudly wearing her own medals and her Great-Grandfathers. A proud day for the whole family.

Who would of thought my kid would turn into such an amazing young lady. Well, you wish for the stars when it comes to your children don't you. Times goes by so quickly.

 



My dad (family name Dood) also returned from Scotland during the week after visiting my Grandma. All the arrangements for the funeral and where to scatter her ashes are sorted now. He said his last farewell to her and on behalf of all of the family told her we loved her. and then he had to come home. It has been a tough journey emotionally for me. I am very lucky in that I have never lost anyone from my family. It's a new emotion and it tears at my heart as I battle to work it all out in my head, but my head has no place in this process. My Grandma and I were not close as she lived so far away, but she lived here in Aus for a time and so I spent lots of time with her when I was little. She is me and I am her. I am told I am the image of her. I am named after her and I have been given so many gifts from her.

Training this last week.....Gazza and I checked with Kez and as she had plans for after the march, she excused us from going up to watch her, knowing that we had the last lot of training worked out for the public holiday. A 50km ride in the morning with Gazza, Roberto and the Onion Man before heading in to town and meeting the AP.10 crew for an open water swim. We headed out into smooth seas and while I watched the schools of fish beneath me in the depths of the harbour we practiced our sighting, drafting off each others feet and deep water starts etc. It was a glorious day and I felt great to be a part of such a wonderful team environment. Coach has picked people to train who are all very relaxed and have the right attitude. (his words)



The Crew, and that's me 2nd from the left.

So, that was the view as I look over my shoulder. Now as I turn and look forward. It is time to place my toe on yet another black line. The start line at Port Mac Ironman. I have that excited nervousness. My bum tingles....lol. It's like the hackles on my back run down to my tush and the tingle I feel is the adrenalin starting. I am as ready as I can be. Packing hasn't started yet of course but visualising has. In true Sammi fashion it will be a last minute pack. But I have seen it in my minds eye so it wont be hard to pull it all together and I have my checklists.

So as I move through my week I have only a couple of thoughts....stolen captions from various places. Words and thoughts that motivate and remind me of the why.

You can do anything you set your mind to.

Ironman is like fighting a gorilla.
You don't stop and give up when you get tired.

For - Keryn, Dood, Grandma, Gazza, Me....

This too shall pass. (So live and breath in the moment knowing the good times and the hard times will disappear in time)

Weeping like the rain
Whispering your name
Long to be reunified
Believe the sun will rise
When I reach the light
I will see you on the other side.........of the black line!

And so, the next blog will be a post race debrief. In the meantime though.......

I am off to pick a fight with a Gorilla!

2 Weeks to Go BABY!!!!

What a huge week. Massive last chance training week in prep for Ironman. Yep 2 weeks today at this time (hopefully) I will be done....actually checking the time its 6.32pm. Maybe we better give it a couple more hours yet. lol..........

Yesterday it was torrential rains and screaming winds. The program was meant to be a repeat of last Saturday's huge ride (See previous blog) but with the weather being flat out dangerous, the text message came in from Coach gathering the Crew for an early morning wind trainer session in his protected undercover backyard. I rolled in a little late and the rest of the gang were setting up their trainers and bikes in a semi circle. Me in my dressing gown snuggled up nice and warm joined the sweat fest, very quickly losing the extra layer. But before that, Coach snapped the shot below.....

Yep, that's me in the dressing gown, asleep and warm. ah, all in fun. And we had some great laughs as the 3hr session unravelled. Lots of hard work done, but in balance with good advice, passionate athletes and many laughs. And for something truly different yet still bonding the Crew together.....we dismounted and hit the flat packs. We all took allen key in hand and built cupboards, mounted shelves and put up hooks and helped Coach and Megzy with their homemaking for a while. Good times!

Overnight the horrid weather left us and Gazza and I woke to a beautiful blue day. We had a last chance run/walk to do. So with a ring circuit in the plan, Gazza headed East and I headed West. We met part way round and then Gazza spun round and back tracked, and then doubled back to me. He ended with a 16km run and then joined Stryda and I for the rest of the walk home. A glorious day and a nice chance for a family portrait.

At the end of a busy day and a huge week, we are finally on the home stretch and now its rest week.

of oily rags and wet sails..........

A hard day out on the roads today. Six and a half hours riding time for 155kms. Hill after hill and the descents were sweet relief on the legs but still couldn't rest. Just keep spinning, just keep spinning.

I headed out with Skip, Megzy and H.G. No Coach just two of the boys, the rest of the crew are recovering from Ironman Melbourne. Coach gave me my instructions and we headed North and up!

Once at the top of Bald Hill and into Helensburgh, Skip and I headed out for our repeats. Skip chasing four and me five. Talk about a mind fuck! The first interval was hard as I was watching the odometer the whole way so I knew where the turn around was. The second and third intervals were a total fight of will versus poor attitude (getting a lot of that lately). With Skip being a much stronger rider than me she was heading home on her fourth interval as I was heading out for my fourth. Alone now, but with other triathletes still on the road there was still company. It seems that every triathlete heading to Port Macquarie Ironman was out training on the same road as us today.  I made it back to the starting point, end of number four.

I was in need of water so I pulled in at the fruit market, very conventently placed.... and also bought a coke and a banana. I stuck the banana in the back pocket. I wanted to save it for the turn around on the fifth interval...a kind of celebratorary meal I guess. I downed a little of the coke and then pushed off to start the last set. Funnily enough the last set was easier to get into than the rest of the sets. I guess the brain had given in and obliginingly stopped grumbling while the legs got to work. I headed out, the sun was up now and the roads were empty. Wow, I'm the last man standing. Am I that slow?

There is a loop playing mercilessly in my head these days "I don't want to do this........" An internal battle rages as my stubborn side counters with "Hell we don't fail Sammi and we certainly DON'T QUIT~!" To be totally honest I do want to do this......Ironman. but, I am still so undercooked. I guess I know that the day is not going to be what I hoped for so I mourn a lost opportunity, but also...its going to bloody hurt like hell. I guess no one goes merrily into the hurt locker. It's about the strength and tenacity to see it through that makes the difference. I am just not so sure I have that strength in me. hmmm self doubt. I think that is normal.

I finished the ride working hard all of the way home on little more than a mouthful of warm, sticky flat coke and 20mls of Dextro gel. It was hard going, but now sitting here of course I am satisified with my ride and effort...the pain far behind already. oh except for a sting every time I pee lol.

So undercooked; I'm RAW...............

Last blog I mentioned a cold that has been lingering around in the background. Well, it's moved to the foreground and has knocked me off my feet for 3 days now. Oh no, what was meant to be the final big weeks on the program where precious long rides and runs were meant to happen, have been exchanged with sleep, lay down, rest, recover, sleep some more.

I went off to bed tonight as I was shattered, slept for a short while and now I am totally awake. Lack of exercise I figure, or the drugs I took for the cold have woken me up. Anyway, my head is going a hundred miles an hour about Ironman of course.

Desperately trying to find positive thoughts such as:

• I had a great ride last weekend finishing strong on a 166km ride
• I know I can swim 4kms
• My ITBs have calmed down completely, no pain what so ever
• I have done the Ironman before I know what it takes mentally to get it done
• The new set up for the bike (nutrition) worked really well

Concerns:

• I have not run a step in over 5 months - just walked
• My consistency has gone so I am worried I am losing fitness
• I am just worrying about everything too much

A Morning Quickie.........

I am about to hop on the scales. I have a very strong suspicion that it isn't going to be good news folks.

The diet has been way off and while I ended up with a big weekend of training, equally it was a big weekend (week long) of eating.. The chocolate fest was huge and has been for about 4 weeks now. Hmmmm

It's time for a quick reset and set some goals for this week. Before I hop on the scales so there is no going back should I just sneak in with a weight loss or on par.

Water - got to during 250mls at each meal and more during workouts and more if I remember throughout the day. I might get some berrocas or lemon just to put some flavour in the water.

Food - Stick religiously to the meal plan. I have worked out my calories and meals to the last micro nutrient. I know what to do, get it done!

No - say no for a change instead of yes yes yes! Yes is always inexplicably followed by a big dollop of guilt . So why say yes!

Stress - recognise stress and deal with it another way other than eating chocolate from the charity box. Should save a few dollars too.

Monitor - my energy levels staying on the healthy eating lifestyle. I have a feeling that I would have got up for the 160km ride after all with a better attitude if I had not have eaten so poorly.

Cold - this cold that has been sitting in the background all week and was also what kept me in bed on Saturday. Might just go away if I stick to the plan and eat healthy.

ok.....two secs while we check the scales..........

Yeah no surprises here team.

Scales are up. 62kgs. 1.2kg weight gain.

So this week is a huge week on the program. Coach has some huge sessions planned. I am sure I can reasonably get the weight back under control by eating to the plan and the training will do the rest.

I'll get back to you shortly.