Frustration Reigned and They all Got Wet

Today's set, after weeks of non-running was a simple 40 minute interval set to test how the ITB is travelling. To start with a good warm up to get the ol' bod' woken up and moving. Then my exercises to wake specific muscles up and then on my way. Jogging along, the legs felt good. Short periods of walking to reset the form and then back to a light jog. 10 repeats and all good....11....12 "Huston, we have a problem." We hear you loud and clear Sammi - hold on while we cue frustrated blood curdling scream.

 

Ok so that's not me. But boy that is how I feel right now. To put it into perspective. This time last year I visited a sports doctor to get a cortisone injection into the right knee. (I had already had the other knee done 6 months prior) so a year ago I had this issue in the same knee. A year down the track and I am about to try and compete in the same event and guess what? I cant run. STILL! I try to be positive. I try not to whinge and complain. But my frustration comes in part by knowing I have done everything to get this issue sorted. While I accept that my body's 'thing' is to have a predisposition to tightening ITBs, I am growing increasingly despondent I have to admit. I can live with ongoing upkeep such as physio visits, strengthening, constant rolling and stretching but I do all of those things and still have the issue. Come on body, keep up with my goals, hopes and dreams! Ironman is 15 weeks away and counting.

 

 

Today's effort! 40 minutes of intervals for just over 6kms.

We have a long way to go team...buh! :(

Outta the Hot Box & into the Hurt Locker

 

That's where I found myself today. I opted for a change in scenery in an effort to vary and keep the head sane. Usually my wind-trainer sets are done in our garage which has been turned into a gym and the usual setup is a music dvd playing on the TV- on silent. Just pretty pictures flashing in front of the eyes and an ipod shuffle blasting through the earplugs a range of doof doof trance dance music to keep me pumping through the set. But none of that was going to get me through the 26 degree heat that was already peaking at 6am and the little fan was never going to keep up with the demands of cooling me. Sooo, I opted for lugging all of my equipment out of the hot box and out to the back deck where the breeze could do the job. And while the sun was rising and the temperatures continued to climb, I gazed at the trees and bushes, talked to the dogs who rolled around on the deck wondering what the heck mum was doing while the music blasting through my ears set the beat, I enjoyed the change and got ready to head into the hurt locker.

A 2 hour session on the program - I always have my computer on count down so I can keep track of the sets Coach plans for me. And if you look carefully at the time counting down on the computer you can see that I have 40mins to go. Still got a ways to go here team. So where is my head at???????

As I didn't know this photo was being taken at the time, I can only guess at where my head was. But I do remember thinking, "I'm over the hump."

• My butt hurts
• It's hot. I'm Hot!
• How much longer?
• Here comes the big part of the set.
• Hang on Sammi you can do it.
• I hate Triathlon.
• Why do I bother?
• I could have slept in.
• This too shall pass.
• So close, and I'm doing it easy.
• I'm hurting all over.
• I feel great.
• This is easy.
• I love my bike.
• I love being able to rock 60kms in 2 hours!
• Oh boy, Ironman is hard work and I have so far to go.

And that is just the half of it. I also sing a lot and it's always out of tune. It's a rollercoaster of thoughts and emotions and it can change by the second. But I do know the satisfaction and feeling of accomplishment I feel when I am done and while I may be exhausted I am content and stronger for it.

The Loop

ok 15 weeks to go til we do this crazy I.M thing again. This time in 15 weeks from now I will be trying to get some food down, the bike will be safely tucked into bed on the rack and I will be attempting to relax and aiming for an early night. But for now the focus still remains on getting each session nailed and getting the quality stuff done. Having said that though, life seems to be constantly getting in the way. Work went a little hectic earlier in the week with deadlines needing to be met and taking priority over the program. Doesn't that suck! I hate it when life gets in the way. I had to drop a couple of sessions and opted to drop swims over walks. Yep, I am still rehabbing this pesky itb. But remaining positive there has been no pain in a long while now and I am walking over 2 hours without issue and starting to throw in some run/walk splits. All good.

On the bike front, things are going great guns. Legs are strong, hills seem to be getting a little easier. Certainly Bald Hill, probably close to one of the hardest climbs in our area, is getting slightly easier both mentally and physically. Today is the second time I have ridden what the Crew calls The Loop. 110kms of hills and undulations, steep descents and good times.

Yep, hills make us stronger!!

Obligatory End of Year Blog...........

So This Is Christmas.....

 

and after a, shall we say, 'interesting' catch up with family members on both mine and Gazza's side, I am left singing John Lennon's song and reflecting on an extremely jam-packed roller coaster of a year.

And what have you done.....

In short:

• Left my job of 16 years and took 4 months off to heal
• Cheered for Gazza at Ironman
• Said goodbye to a friend forever and one for now
• Started a new job
• Gave up 'V' drinks
• Ate too much trifle
• Laughed til I cried
• Lost a shit load of weight
• Stuck to the Program
• Took time out in Fiji
• Made a heap of new friends
• Saw my kid go off to war and return safely

Sparky, My Kid and Me at the airport.
That's relief on my face!

Another year over.....

I didn't get as much competing done as I would have liked and fell short of my goal of entering an event each month of the year. But upon reflection, it would have deterred from the goal of Ironman training AND it would have hit the hip pocket hard. It's so costly putting two people into events. It has been a year since Coach and I have been officially working together and in that short time I have made some significant gains. Swimming is so much stronger, comfortable and I exit the water feeling strong. Bike, Well, that has been huge. Hitting the hills of the National Park with the Crew has added a whole new gear for me on the bike and with the weight loss also I can really feel some positive gains. Run.... well we are still working on that one. I would call it my weakest sport of the three for sure but I don't ever really get enough time to build up my run fitness before the itb flares up. However, we (Coach and I) continue to work on, strengthen, change and strategize ways of getting me around the itb issue. Latest effort is a trip to the Podiatrist (awesome guy) who has given me some new orthotics. So I am breaking them in and taking the opportunity to ease back into the running. With 4 months left to go it's going to be close. But if the experts continue to remain optimistic than who am I to doubt them. I just gotta keep chipping away at it and stay positive.

And a new one just begun.....

So I am another year older, 47 puts me smack bang in the middle of my age group. But looking forward to hopefully being competitive in my class. I am looking forward to lots of fun and hard work with the Crew and Coach and focusing on the run now that we have a run squad organised. Already feeling some good gains there too. Coach has given me a couple of pointers already on my form. Perhaps he is being polite at this stage with just a couple of adjustments but at least he didn't have to pull me up and do a complete re-build on the form. I'm looking forward to the long miles ahead on the bike with the girls of the Crew. What a great bunch. I feel really comfortable and it certainly takes the sting out of the legs when you can have a laugh during the ride.

The ? here though is whether to sign up for Ironman Melbourne in March 2014. Talking with Coach the other day while getting treatment on that pesky itb he asked me what the future was going to look like. Never one for looking too far ahead; I could only see myself doing much of the same as now as training is now a lifestyle for us. Sure I have goals and dreams outside of Ironman, but who knows how long I have to play, so I will keep going while the body, heart and mind are still keen. Coach seemed to think I should keep doing Ironman. Wow, was that a boost to hear him say that. The thought of having his guidance and continuing the gains I have made so far was morale boosting to say the least. And hell, what else am I going to spend my money on?

 

With the base miles behind us, the program proper starts soon. Hold on team, the roller coaster just gained speed.

 

 

 

 

Finally Got One Away

It was HOT last night. Big Gazza and I couldn't stand it anymore sitting in a stuffy house. As it the 1st of December and 1st day of summer we pulled on the cozzies and headed for the beach. 8pm, still 35 degress and storm clouds were threatening action overhead, but nothing eventuated. Just a distant rumble of thunder but eh all talk, no action. I love nights like these. Takes me back to when I was a kid. We lived close to where I am today. Having never really moved far from my childhood stomping ground I feel like I have a memory down every street. My Dood (family name for Dad) and I used to sit on our front veranda watching the clouds gathering hoping like crazy that it would turn into an electrical storm. I wonder now if it was his way of making sure I was never scared of storms. But anyway, us 3 kids would climb all over him laughing and enjoying the show. He in his undies that he claimed were the same as swimmers, us still with our cozzies on after a full day of summer sun at the beach (not a dollop of sunscreen to be seen all day). A crack of thunder would have us applauding and cheering and then counting, hoping for a craized streak of lightening to follow close behind and tell us how close the storm was.

Bundeena in the National Park 1974
- pre Sunscreen being invented I'm sure. 

Usually electrical storms are on the tail of a hot sticky, humid day and yesterday was one of those days. I had been looking forward to the Saturday Crew Ride all week and when I woke up at 4.30am and the air was still and thick and the covers had been kicked off the bed during the night, I knew the weather man had it right and it was going to be Scorch-io.

I rolled up just before 6am got the usual kit together and with time in hand managed to get a few warm up stretches done. The word from Coach on the program was "let's see if we can get you gals round the loop today." I remember back in about July talking to Coach and he said that by November 100-110km rides should be the 'Norm' each weekend and I knew we were a fair bit behind that goal due in part to the itb (grrrr) and due to a few other issues as being sick, recovery after Port, taking new girls out on the ride or life in general getting in the way. Megzy had said at running earlier in the week that she really wanted to get the loop done at least once before Christmas. I was keen too. I was also keen to have every box ticked on my program this week. The last few weeks had been easier and rest weeks. This week felt like getting back into it and it was feeling good.

I decided at the beginning of the week on a strategy for taking notice of my fatigue levels (See previous blog). I need to take more responsibility/notice of my fatigue and communicate to Coach how I am travelling. The strategy I decided on was to change a few columns in my diary. Calories Burnt became Sleep, HR Zone became Fatigue, Times exercising became Attitude/Head and I added a column for Body. So upon waking I have been measuring (rating scale of 0-10) how well I slept, how fatigued I feel, where my head/attitude towards doing the planned set is and how the body is coping with the load. I have been repeating the process after work just prior to the pm sessions. It's an interesting experiment and worthwhile I think so far. So with easing back into full work load and my rating scale all reading positives and a tick in each box of my program I was heading into our long ride with a pumped attitude and a quiet determination to 'get it done!'

The girls rolled out with Megzy and I on the front. Seems to be the standard now as we snake along the coast road in flying formation. Close behind is Macca (a great gal who I will call Macca as she reminds me so much of another friend of mine who has a big laugh and great Aussie girl humour), next to her is Lil Dog (no need for an anonymous nickname to hide the innocent required there), Kel who came out for a short ride as she is doing I.M Busselton in Western Australia next weekend and another girl who has just joined the Crew and so hasn't got a nickname yet!!! but soon I'm sure.

The trip up to Bald Hill was an easy one; uneventful but for a flat tyre which Kel dutifully changed for Lil Dog and I helped by adding pit crew sound effects as Kel worked. Within a couple of minutes (impressive) we were on our way again. At the top of the steep climb, which is actually starting to get easier (hmm could I be getting stronger?) we lost 3 of the team as they turned and headed for home leaving Macca, Megzy and Sammi to carry on North. The ride heads down into the National Park and as the steamy rainforest wrapped its stickiness around us I relaxed into the curves being careful to stay away from the slippery white lines and mossy edges of the road. At the bottom it's a long 7km grind up to Garie. Our usual turn around BUT NOT TODAY! Still feeling keen we punched on and in time-trial formation we rode the undulating course to Audley. I haven't been there since I was about 9 I reckon. A great day with my Grandma who was visiting from Scotland. Not having grandparents in Aus meant I never knew how special it is to have an extended family. I am so jealous of Kez who gets to have Grandood cuddles and time with Grandmoom doing art & craft together.

Audley is just beautiful, a forest laddened valley with an easy lazy river at the base with a road that cuts across at water level to create the weir and if you're really keen you can hire a boat and punt for hours. But not today. The girls had warned me about a steep climb out of Audley and in typical Sammi style I built it up in my head til it was Everest I was about to ascend. We set our gears to easy and our legs to churn and hit the climb. I soon felt I had to overtake Megzy and Macca. I'm not keen on sitting behind people on a hill, I need wobble room. So I rounded them when it was safe and set my own pace. Too easy! It was long and yeah the grade was dialled up but not undoable and as we hit the top and headed along the busy highway heading for home I was quietly doing the leaping high-5s in my head.


Dood, Bro, Sis and Me (Standing) Audley 1973

The highway was awesome. Long clean straights with room for two abreast. Megzy and I held the front while Macca ducked in behind us and we set a cracking pace of 30-35km with the wind at our backs. We stopped at a garage station and took quick respite in the airconditioning. A Coke now in the biddon for extra fuel (so glad I don't drink Coke usually cause I could feel the pick-me-up straight away) and we were now descending back into the forest leaving the bustle and noise of the highway behind us and replacing it with bell birds song and our laughter.

All ride I had been worrying about this particular section. One more long climb out of the National Park to go. I had it in my head that this section of the ride was going to be hard and I would struggle physically here. I knew it would be about the 85km mark and the legs would be growing weary. True to form I started to over worry the issue and suddenly the legs died again. The conversation had been lively and had distracted me from any tiredness in the legs. But now I had fallen silent and being still at first wheel I started to listen to the legs telling me they were suffering. I started to sing again. Wasn't really working. When I finally said "geez I think my legs are dead." The other girls declared their hands and said they were suffering too. Wow that made me feel better. I thought it was just me, but nope they were with me. ok I'm normal, this is normal and This Too Shall Pass! I started singing and chatting again and sure enough it passed. Also helped that I downed a full caffeine Dextro Gel.

Home straight and still in front wheel I guided the girls over the seven hills to home. The girls thought it was funny that I knew how many hills there were but I have this ride mentally broken down into bite size chewable chunks. We stopped where we had begun six hours earlier tired but content in our achievement. I looked down to discover that my Garmin had let me down and had only recorded 6.4kms! WTF! Ha that was the toughest 6.4kms I have ever ridden.

The Loop! Conquered finally. With one away, the cherry has been popped. And I am left wanting more!

Coach's comment on the program this week "Why stop at the loop once?!"

EXACTLY!

Stress, Fatigue and Hormones

Last night was my scheduled treatment time for physio and 1:1 time with Coach. It's always an amazing opportunity. An hour of uninterrupted time with Coach as he checks the ol' bod' is still in one piece, aligned and the itbs are playing the game (which they are phew!) It is also time where Coach checks in on me in other ways. "How are you Sammi?" is not just about are you sore, are the itbs ok, what hurts. His question more relates to how are you handling the work load, how's work, are you stressed, are you sleeping, what's the diet going like, are you tired etc. It's the mental check-in as well as the body. His approach is wonderfully holistic.

Previously, I had brushed over his inquiries with a wave of the hand and a 'Yep I'm cool." as a standard response. I have learnt however, that this doesn't help him learn about me and how much work load he can give me before me and/or the body can't take any more. Countless hours laying on the physio table with him gently prodding and probing for answers to his questions has finally melted the ice maiden and now when I walk in the room and he asks "How are you Sammi?" with a concerned and genuine look on his face, finds me sometimes jabbering on about crap that I would never normally discuss with anyone, except maybe Gazza.

One of the main things I am discovering is that I find it hard to recognise fatigue. Weird I suppose. I figure if you're tired then sleep. However, I am learning that if you are fatigued then it is like a snowball rolling down a hill effect I reckon. It's like doing a hard session and then hitting the showers and bed. You wake up in the morning after a solid nights sleep and expect that during the night your body has recovered and is ready to go again fresh, recovered, stronger and keen for more of the same. WRONG!!!!! It's more like the body has not fully recovered and a little layer of fatigue has stuck itself to the outside of the snowball. Each session adds another layer of fatigue and there is never enough sleep in 8 hours to shake off the layers. Eventually my snowball hits the bottom of the hill and smashes into smithereens. Usually after a race I find or after about 6 weeks of the program. The problem is the smash in reality is me laying in bed for a week unable to find the motivation to get up and do the program/work/sessions.

What should happen is that I recognise that there are layers gathering on my snowball, the hill is getting steeper and the snowball is gathering speed. I then need to act and find ways to scrape off the layers, slow the speed and adjust the incline of the hill. I got to say I really haven't found the answer to how yet. I am trying though and with regular check-ins with Coach and communicating honestly about how I (or rather the snowball) is travelling is crucial.

But now imagine that my snowball which is travelling along at a, let's say cracking pace, as I get to the end of a big 4 week training cycle and has to travel through a blizzard and then gets hit by an avalanche. Yep, let's add a good load of outside factors and internal factors to the mix. Good old stress and hormones. Stress for me is having my kid away serving in Afghanistan, having my girlfriend living with us (moved out now though) and work. Previously a cruizy individual without a care in the world and could forget totally that work even existed when the weekends came round, now I find myself getting stressed quicker. Remnants of my previous job and the bullying etc that went on. (But that's a previous blog) The point is that I still haven't healed completely. After all it has only been 6 months. I should give myself a break, and I do. It's just hard for me to recognise when the stress is coming on and because I internalise it no-one sees what's happening on the inside. To all, I am in control, calm under fire and happy go lucky. On the inside the blizzard is raging and the snowball is reaching break neck speed.

Now let's add a great big dollop of hormones. Yeah I'm female and that sux when it comes to the swinging moods and hormones that flush through the system each month or so. At 47 you would think they would quit their fussing and go pick on some other poor soul. But nope, I still find that there are times across the month where, I just wanna kick the poor dog across the yard and then crawl up in a tiny ball and hide from the world and then eat the fridge out. Sometimes there are just never enough Tim Tams to make it go away. And after discussions with Coach I am learning that there are other hormones that are associated with fatigue, neural overload, muscular stress etc that are also in the mix.

The snowball is now reaching Warp 6......(insert Scotty quote "She canny take anymore Captain!")........As I plummet headlong into oblivion I realise that this week I have a healthy (or rather unhealthy) dose of all 3 factors. Yep, I got the hormones, stress and fatigue all mixing up in one big cauldron of steaming crappola. Way to go Sammi!

Answer??????

Give myself a break. Yep, easier said than done. Sleep-ins, program on hold, do what I have to as far as sessions are concerned. Try and eat healthy avoiding comfort food. (Epic fail on the avoidance strategy). TALK TO COACH!!!! - Working on that one.

Tonight is an open water swim with Coach and the Crew. I will roll up for that. Saturday is 100kms on the bike, yep I will roll up for that. Sunday is a club team race, yep I wont let the team down and I'll show.... Monday is rest and then the week will start again. I will pick up my shit covered proverbial snow sled and trudge the long walk back up the hill to jump on the luge ride again. Hoping that I can find strategies to lessen the incline, recognise the snow that I am gathering along the way and put the brake on when I see I am gathering too much speed.

Wish me luck.... oh and if you are an experienced snowball rider and have found an answer...feel free to share with the Rookie. Enjoy the Ride!!!!

This blog is dedicated to Megzy - whose snowball just hit the wall.. It happens to the best of us.

Checking the Rear View Mirror

Every now and then I find it beneficial and very satisfying to take a look in the rear view mirror of my life. It's a good way of taking stock, seeing just how far I have come and appreciating what I have achieved. It is also a way of staying grounded. Remembering that once it was all I could do to muster a run to the corner of my street. That riding a bike was something that I did in my childhood with a basket on the front of my bike and spoki-doks making my wheels make a happy tune. Swimming was with a bubble on my back, totally humiliated in Primary school.

My parents aren't sporty. They don't even go for evening walks. The thought of sweating is insane and only happens while you are at work. Not that mum worked. She stayed at home and took care of us kids while dad brought home the earnings and handed over her housekeeping money on a Thursday night when he got home from the pub. We loved when he came home from the pub. We would be sitting on the floor eating our fish and chips and he would come in with a packet of beer nuts for us to share. It was a typical Aussie household, 3 bedroom house, white picket fence, 3 kids and a dog scenario. Hobbies were horses for the girls and football for my brother. Mum and Dad did the dutiful drive us everywhere job. But never participated. 

So sporting endeavours would have been supported if I had have chosen to do running or netball or something other than ride my pony. But it was never role modelled. I have never seen my dad run.

Where the joy of triathlon came from I am not sure. Finding the pleasure of training and being active and being a part of competition is foreign to my family but it is something that I really love. For me it's all about seizing life by the throat and running like hell! And Triathlon is just one of the ways I can validate myself and provide to the judge (whomever that may be?) the evidence that yep, I grabbed every opportunity in life to be the best of my ability and gave it a bloody good crack!

So here is my rear view mirror shot of the moment.

3 x running photos taken over the course of the 7 or so years I have been doing triathlon with a goal of improving my overall health, adopting a healthy active lifestyle, eating healthy and moving ever increasingly towards a plant based diet. (But that's another blog at another time :)

Left - 70+kgs. I had stopped weighing myself. Pinkies triathlon 6 years ago. Trying to finish 3kms and struggling big time in the heat. I realised at this point that just running, swimming and biking occasionally was not the end of it. Other things had to change too. Diet, attitude, training.

Middle - 65kgs. Port Mac 70.3. 2 years ago. I was training but not consistently. Sugar, V drinks, chocolate and the whole "I train therefore I can eat what ever I like" mentality still strong. I did my run in 2hrs and 40mins. I walked some due to the ITB issue. But mostly I walked because I wasn't fit enough to run the entire distance.

Right - 59.3kgs. Last weeks Port Mac 70.3. Done in 2hrs 15mins. Ran the whole way except to walk the aid stations. Could have been faster if not for the blister on the arch of my foot. But most importantly is recognising that so much has changed for the better. My diet, my attitude, consistency in my approach and training.  

There has been a constant need for adjustment, attention to detail, commitment and reaching a realisation that being fit and healthy is so important and integral to me leading a happy and fulfilling life and I believe that those people who I love and have in my life are better for it as well.
I am soooooo less grumpy lol.