Yet Another Whinge Blog..........

Sorry folks, but yep......I need to get this stuf off my chest cause it is holding me down. So read on or not, it doesn't matter, I just need a WaaWaaaa Woes is Me moment.

So, its my baby's birthday in 2 days time. 26! Damn where do the years go. That last statement alone makes me sound old. I am turning into my Mother. Oh nooooo. The Kid wont be home on her birthday. I have no idea what so ever about what to buy or do for her birthday. And to be dead honest, I haven't given it a lot of thought because I have been so caught up in me. I'm either bloody selfish or I get so easily caught up in what's happening in my immediate (within my own arms length) world that I don't stop and look outside the metre wide cocoon I have woven around myself.

This is true in other aspects of my life at the moment as well. ITB, ITB f*cking ITB is all that I hear in my head. It's like someone hit the repeat button. Jeez.

I rolled into physio yesterday. Yep, I got my day wrong and turned up early without an appointment. Coach threw a few needles in anyway. Cause it's all about me! pht. But here was Mel and Kel and Lil Dog all laying on various slabs throughout the rooms. It was like an AP10 reunion said Coach as he worked. See Sammi, you're not the only one who has something to work on. Lil Dog (get this) her body gets tighter when she STOPS!!!!! Geez I'd like a little bit of that. She has to keep moving otherwise she gets issues. Me, if I move I get tight. lol. So anyway, it was calming (I think that is the right descriptor) to know that I'm not alone, this is the price you pay for wanting to push your body outside its comfort zone and This Too Shall Pass!

Problem is that it is going to pass after this weekend and not before. You see this weekend is not only my kids birthday but it is Husky Long Course. This time last year I was in exactly the same place. No lie. Chasing a Cortisone injection, only able to complete the swim and wasting a whole heap of money on entry fees. grrrrr Focusing on the positive. I am fitter, leaner, faster and so the list goes on. So I guess I am not exactly in teh same place....just pretty darn close. But I am also filthy, pouty, shitty and just all round pissed off that I am not chasing down my goal of improving my running.

At my present trajectory I am going to have a repeat of my first Ironman. An unknown run. Will she run, will she walk for 7 hours? This is not how I wanted this to play out. I wanted to work on my run all year so that I could actually run the marathon. FUCK!

ok, so once this shitty weekend has passed. Monday will see a new day and a new forward step. Monday I get the shot and we once again start rehabbing the itb/knee so that just maybe by May I can run. Then it will be all about the mental strength and ability to get through the marathon. Again.

It is disappointing as this is not how I see myself. This is not the goal I had planned, this is not what I had imagined. BUT!!!!!! It is where I want to be. I am in the right place. I will find a marathon in these legs and I will be ecstatic that this journey to I.M 2013 yep it wasn't easy, but I jumped every hurdle along the way, rode the roller coaster with both hands in the air hollering my mighty YAWP and I will reflect in rapture over my accomplishment. AND this year most importantly............I will be sharing the day with sooo many wonderful people that I have met along the way.

So today I am going to remind myself to look out beyond my own reach and see.

I am falling in love with Thoreau

Frustration Reigned and They all Got Wet

Today's set, after weeks of non-running was a simple 40 minute interval set to test how the ITB is travelling. To start with a good warm up to get the ol' bod' woken up and moving. Then my exercises to wake specific muscles up and then on my way. Jogging along, the legs felt good. Short periods of walking to reset the form and then back to a light jog. 10 repeats and all good....11....12 "Huston, we have a problem." We hear you loud and clear Sammi - hold on while we cue frustrated blood curdling scream.

 

Ok so that's not me. But boy that is how I feel right now. To put it into perspective. This time last year I visited a sports doctor to get a cortisone injection into the right knee. (I had already had the other knee done 6 months prior) so a year ago I had this issue in the same knee. A year down the track and I am about to try and compete in the same event and guess what? I cant run. STILL! I try to be positive. I try not to whinge and complain. But my frustration comes in part by knowing I have done everything to get this issue sorted. While I accept that my body's 'thing' is to have a predisposition to tightening ITBs, I am growing increasingly despondent I have to admit. I can live with ongoing upkeep such as physio visits, strengthening, constant rolling and stretching but I do all of those things and still have the issue. Come on body, keep up with my goals, hopes and dreams! Ironman is 15 weeks away and counting.

 

 

Today's effort! 40 minutes of intervals for just over 6kms.

We have a long way to go team...buh! :(

Back in the Game

Well, I had a lot to make for this weekend. After a shocker out on the road last Saturday that saw me making the decision to head home after only 15kms of what was supposed to be a 100km ride. I was more than ever, determined to get it right this weekend.

At the 15km mark, last week, I turned to Big Gazza and announced I was pulling over. I had said that my legs were not working as we rode along. There was no power in them. It felt heavy and while not painful I was having trouble with each and every turn of the pedal. Before we headed out on the road that morning I was feeling positive and looking forward to notching up my first tonne of the season. So as I sat on the side of the road feeling like I had lead sinkers in my tri-shoes I tried to take an honest account of my situation. Yep, honestly, I can't do this ride today. So, with my tail between my legs and a sinking heart we headed for home. I was comforted by the fact that even on the way home I couldn't get going.

I rested for the remainder of the weekend and then started a new week with renewed determination to get it right. I ticked the boxes daily. Making sure to put the effort in when Coach told me to, rest and stretch religiously and get a decent night sleep.

So, when Saturday morning arrived and I was awake before the alarm and feeling fresh and raring to go, I knew I was mentally up for the challenge. I just hoped like crazy that the legs were feeling the vibe too.

I headed out with The Onion Man and Big Gazza and we headed North in the direction of the Sea Cliff Bridge and the illusive 100. By the time we passed the point where I had turned the week before (only 15kms) I knew already I had this thing sorted.

Even better was when I finished the 100 and had claimed victory over the ride and my legs, I left Big Gazza laying on the floor stretching and proclaiming he was done, I donned the runners, grabbed a hat and headed out down the road again for an 'easy' 20min run. The legs felt like jelly. You know that weird wobbly 'will me legs collapse under me' feeling. Yup that was me. After a few walk/run intervals I managed to gain control and finish the run with an unbroken 5minutes.

And to top off a great weekend, I headed out this morning with Big Gazza for a 70min run. We headed for a part of town we hadn't run along for ages and the new view took the mind off the worry that the legs (ITBs) wouldn't hold. I shouldn't have worried. The legs held. A strategy Coach and I are trying is a 20min spin on the wind.trainer before heading out along with the usual warm up drills. This seemed to work a treat as my lower back and hips seemed to move freer than when I just up and run cold. I was continually bolstered throughout the run. And with 20mins still left to run Gaz pulled out with a niggling lower back issue. And while he walked home I continued on. While usually I would have crumpled having to carry on alone, instead I found myself in the zone and running comfortably. I rounded the final corner and came in strong and and punching the air with flaming high 5s. woop woop!

The weekend was rounded out by a second run in the afternoon. I met up with a friend and ran again in a place that I haven't run through for a long time. The friend was a distraction too and we chatted happily as we jogged a long at a snail's pace. My friend has lost a lot of fitness over the last couple of weeks and piled on a heap of weight. Already a big girl the extra kilos has not helped. I found myself jogging on ahead and then doubling back when she stopped to walk and find her breath. Once again the body, legs, heart and head held together and now as I sit here I feel like an Ironman again. The first time in a very long time. I feel bolstered by a great weekend of training.

Of course tomorrow may be a different matter, but today is all that matters!

Can't Catch a Thought

Well I got to say team. Its been a hell of a week! The roller coaster ride is on a constant zig zag up and down, highs and lows and now backwards and forwards too.

The positive highs....my ITB finally seems to have eased. So far this week I have been for a 20 minute run with 30sec run, 30sec walk intervals. How bad is that lol. But at the end of it all the knee seemed to be ok and the burning was no worse. I have also rocked out 2 wind trainer sessions on the bike, both without drama. Ice and rolling are the norm of course and stretching too. I think what I have learnt from all of this angst, is that the injury will pass and sometimes you have to go backwards to move forwards, but overall I think I have learnt that if I stay on top of the stretching and rolling I will prevent this from happening again. I sure am going to try anyway. So my 20minute run will soon creep back up to decent distances and times again soon I am sure.

The lows...... well it's cold and wet and windy and I have huge trouble getting up in the morning on days like this. After work can be an issue to as all I want to do is run home and hope into my pj's and curl up on the lounge and vegetate. I like it better having my gear in the car and travelling to the training session and not home first. I had my swim gear in the car and as the day drew on I knew I wasn't going to battle an unusually cold squally day to go swim in the outdoor pool. Going home meant picking up husband and girlfriend and heading to the indoor pool. A possible option that I would have followed through on if my work day hadn't been such a crap one.

The other lows....today was full of emotional eating. Yep the diet flew out the window and as I was smashing through chocolate and 4 small Easter buns I recognised what I was doing and took comfort in the food. I didn't feel guilty about it as I had recognised and was aware of my actions. I didn't attempt to rein it in as I needed to be comforted and food was the only hug I was getting today til I got home. A tough couple of days at work with no positive end in sight and me not being brave enough to make some tough decisions about my future with the company. You see 'Senior Management' are making some changes to identity etc and the changes do not sit comfortably with me. 'We' (middle managers) have been told to get on board or get out. Many other managers are uncomfortable with the actions and intimidation tactics but are not prepared to go any further with it. I understand, they have to pay a mortgage, me too. Anyway, I can make a choice hey! I can put up with it, earn my 9to5 and go home and train and focus on life outside of work like family and triathlon etc or I can leave, take my long service leave and have a break and look for new employment. These are the thoughts that plague me. And while I wanted this blog to be about triathlon and my training, and not small trivial things, obviously other factors are going to contribute, affect and hinder this goal from time to time and if I don't document these aspects then I can't reflect properly later about my journey.

So these are the thoughts I am trying to catch today........and in the meantime I have not trained now and missed 2 sessions. What I have learnt (the hard way) is that you can not buy those missed sessions back no matter how hard you try or how well you juggle. Something will give in the end be it energy, injury/body, recovery/sleep, work or life, something will give and so I say adios to the 2 missed sets today and focus on tomorrow. No rain checks.

Tomorrow is a 20min run with 40sec run/20sec walk. Tomorrow arvo is a massage and then 1 hour on the wind trainer. Let's get er done Sammi hey!!!!

5 weeks 3 days to Dextro Challenge!
62kgs - stay focused!
Get the work done!
Don't miss a session from here on in!
Be proud of yourself, stretch and don't sweat the small stuff!