Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Damp and Dark: Welcome to Winter Solstice

Did I tell you that, in my world, the year doesn't run from 1 Jan to 31 December? And that seasons in my world consist of only two? Winter and Summer. I was born in October. October 7, 1965. So it seems to be, that October 7 is day 1 of my life and therefore, day 1 of my first year. So in Sammi's world and calendar I have lived 47.8years.

I married my man whose year started on April 7, 1965. He is exactly 6 months older than me. In Australia we see four seasons, the first day of Spring is September. But in Aus September is still bloody cold, dark and windy. Well, where I live anyway. No, Spring starts on my birthday, new life, new beginning, warmth and sunshine and me. April in Aus is cold. You need a jacket at night and the clocks have gone back an hour and the sun takes longer to clear the horizon and creep across the sea and it definitely goes to bed a whole heap earlier. Winter in Aus is 1st June. But in Sammi time, Winter starts on Gary's birthday, April 7 and that is when I go into hibernation.

Now, I always thought this was just me. But I have since learnt that my Dad thinks the same way about his birthday being his first day of the year. Perhaps once, as a little girl he might have told me this and I stored it away or maybe it just made good sense, or maybe it is just the way we both see the world. But either case, I am not alone in my thinking. I love Spring and coming alive. I hate Winter. I want to hunker down and hibernate, spin a cocoon about myself for warmth against the bitter winds and be a grub. In spring the cocoon is cast aside and like a butterfly I want to open my wings and soak up the sun. I could easily be a lizard on a rock, bathing in the sunshine for hours storing the heat. Segway - we should totally be able to do that by now. Why haven't we evolved to be able to store heat like a battery for use later during the dark, damp winter. pht. Damn evolution needs to catch up.

Anyway, right now I am sitting here in my cocoon, wrapped in a blanket, dressing gown, slippers and heater (and its not even snowing or anything. I really am a woos)

Winter Solstice according to the gurus was 2 days ago. But on my calendar, it may as well be 6 months of Winter Solstice, short, dark damp days and with that it seems, my mood has grown dark and glum. A bit woe's me, I am struggling to get up in the morning. JFDI I hear you say and yeah, I am. I just can't find some enthusiasm for it all.

I feel old today. But according to the Sammi calendar, I am halfway. Halfway through my life. My Grandmas funeral was yesterday. She was twice my age and as I was named after her and so much like her, I am told. I use her as my yard stick. Halfway. So not old. I have a lot of time to pack a heap in yet. Hmmm, dark and damp.

I need to find a way of surviving the Winter. There doesn't seem to be enough stored light in my battery to get me through. Some warm thoughts.......I got offered, and accepted the position where I have been working. Relief. Warm thought..........the house is really coming together now. I feel balanced and in order. Warm thought..........I have enjoyed painting, or rather prepping to paint, a picture to go above the lounge. It's been a long while since I have been motivated to paint something, other than walls that is.

Cold thought.........I still worry about my ITB and knee, I just don't know if it is going to sort it self out. Cold thought.............I am halfway! Cold thought................I seem to be isolating my self a little. Perhaps left over from no time to be social due to I.M training. Need to do something about that. Cold thought.................I have put the weight all back on again. Still in range but self sabotage once again takes its toll. Cold's still 3+ months till next year and Spring time.

Warm thought................the challenge is to create my own fire that will get me through my winter. It's up to me.

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