The Four Week to go Blues

Yep, 4 weeks to go. Its the end of a huge week for me. In many ways. I managed to get the newsletter done so that it had more than just the usual sections in it. I scrambled and printed off a report of barefoot running knowing it would add a stir amongst the members.

But anyway, the week in conclusion..............

I opted out of my Wednesday long ride and traded it for my long run. I added/combined a shorter bike and a swim session and also squeezed in a massage. All good I thought but this meant that my weekend would be back to back long rides. Nuts!!!! really. I know in the back of my mind it would be a big ask.

The 2.30hour run ended up a 2.22hour run along a fairly flat course. But the scenery was fantastic and a welcome distraction. Ocean, lake and tree lined streets. I felt comfortable the entire time though the pace was slow I didn't mind. In the end I logged up 20kms. So happy all round.

So Saturday rolls around and my husband (gaz) has to work. I make arrangements with my buddy to meet him for a ride and do our 160km long ride. I lay in bed in the dark at 6.30am awake, but not wanting to move. I wanted to roll over and find a hiding space and stay there all day. Not good. I dragged and forced myself out of bed and got ready. I rolled my bike out onto the driveway, mounted and headed down the street and beneath me the road bumped and groaned as my rear tyre lost all air. Nuts! A flat.

Not far from home, 20metres. I pushed my bike through the door and eased the pain by knowing that at least I wasn't siting on the side of a road somewhere. I changed the tyre and pumped it up. No go. The valve was buggered on this tube. Start again.
Finally I left my front door behind and headed to my mate James' place. He had slept in. Just as well I guess. So by 8.30am we were finally heading North. The streets were busy with people making their way to work, but we road on laughing and chatting happily.

We had a Southerly blowing at our backs and we made good time. We rode all the way to the Sea Cliff Bridge. Its a beautiful part of our city.

The road is incredible and the wind was lifting as we snaked round the cliff edges and headed for Bald Hill. <insert overly dramatic dah dah daaaaaah>

Yep this climb up to Bald Hill had alluded me for some time now. In my mind it was bigger than Ben Hur. I didn't think I was up for the ride but I dutifully followed James who was keen as, to get up there. We started up one steep sharp section. OK got past that. Now up the last section. A steep elevation it was insane. I had already ridden 56 kms of road and now was about to ascend the steepest road to date. With 4 weeks left of training I am not sure that this was the smartest descion I had made to date. But I climbed. I tried to remain calm and find a rhythm that my legs could keep as I worked the pedals. I alternated when the work became to hard seated to standing on the pedals and attempting the mountain climbers pedal dance like on the Tour de France. Tiring of the dance again I sat and churned out the strokes. I dare not look down at the side of the road as a deep cement gutter cut into the edge of the road to carry water run-off away during heavy rain. It could quite easily have swallowed me up. I had learnt that lesson a while ago. Look at the pothole...end up in the pothole. So I refused to let myself look into the dangerous gutter drain and concentrated rather on my breathing and the road ahead.

We went on for what seemed an eternity. My internal battle for confidence and victory was being eaten alive by self doubt and pain. I kept my eyes on James and tired to mimic his strokes and rhythm. My lower back was starting to complain, almost as loudly as my heart and lungs. I was getting scared now. If I stopped I would have to rip out a foot from the cleat and hope I had enough energy left to hold myself upright as the cars and motorbikes rolled past me. Equally I had to concentrate on holding my line as the cars came dangerously close and any shake or error would see me perched on the bonnet of some poor souls bonnet.

Finally I saw the trees clear ahead of me and this meant the end of the road. Real panic now rather than relief because at the top of the road it turned to a T intersection and I would have to cross the T and head right which was yet another upward grade. I fought my head and all of the doubt. "How will you feel if you fail this?" How good will it feel knowing you conquer this hill?" Choose your outcome Sammi and it shall be so! I am a winner! I am an Ironman. Today I choose to conquer this hill. I rode to the T, there were cars lined up giving way to us and cars going in our same direction. I crept across the intersection and lifted my hand a little to wave a weak thank you to the cars for waiting for me and being so patient. I had made it to the top. My lungs and stomach now were screaming, I felt ill. Was I really going to throw up? Had I maxed out and hit 100% effort?

I rolled through the intersection and onto the grass in front of me. I didn't have the legs to push up the next section. My mind had souly been focused on the climb, breaking it up into sections the grass was my finish line. Waiting for me was James smiling. "You did it Mumma Bear!" Oh my..... I was shattered and relieved and thrilled. After a quick rest and regroup I pushed on up the short incline and into the parking lot of Bald Hill.

Photo evidence complete we turned and headed for home. I have never felt anything like it. Our heads went down as we faced the full force of the Southerly as we crept slowly back around the cliffs. With every pedal stroke we gained very little ground but we pushed on. Over all of the hills once more, along all of the flats that only had brief reprieve from the wind when we ducked behind houses. My bones began to ache as the temperature dropped. My knees started to seize up. The wind in my ears and the exposure to the elements started to drain every spark of energy left in me.

Worst of all was going past the road that would take me home and continue on down the road to Kiama. It is the hardest thing to do... turn a pony's head past her stable and this little pony wanted to go home to her stable.We finally turned our bikes and once again the wind was at our backs. We absolutely flew along the highway, it was an amazing ride. We reached my road and I said goodbye to James and slowly alone worked my way home to my front door and into Gary's arms. I was completely spent. He stripped me off and had made up a hot bath for me. I sat there in the water letting it seep into my cold bones. I fell asleep momentarily. Once out of the bath I lay on the bed with Gary spooning me and fell immediately asleep.

Long Course Triathlon Done!

Well I made it.

After a huge day cheering and supporting my husband and my friends in their
races. Then registering my bike and entry into my race for the next day and
leaving my precious ride on its rack, we headed home at about 4pm.

4am and I was up with the alarm again and choking back a couple of muffins
with jam for breakfast. Yep, I haven't quite worked out what the best breaky is
for me yet. But the muffins held me over for a while. We travelled the 80mins
back down the coast again in the dark. Husband drove, I snoozed and tried to
fight off the nerves.

I left him in the dark to catch an hour of sleep and walked alone along the
streets to the transition area. The Gathering! Athletes were milling about their
bikes making last minute adjustments. I had a backpack on and tools onboard as I
had a few extra adjustments to make. Basically at the last minute my rear brake
had failed on Saturday and now Sunday morning at 6.30am I was tapping and
pinching cables into place. Just to add to the nerves.

I added my drinks, food, shoes, helmet etc and headed off to find my training
buddy. I found him with his girlfriend, he was a ball of nerves. He hasn't been
training for a couple of weeks. A real worry but nothing I could do would get
him up and out the door. I had to leave him and train without him and I felt
awful but technically he is a better athlete than me and we knew we had to part
ways anyway.

We pulled on our wetsuits and stared out at the flat calm ocean. Race
day!

The starters gun had gone and I was off. Thrashing about with about 200 women
35+ years and heading for the first bouy. Trying not to hyperventilate. Round
the first bouy and finally some clear water. Tried to get my rythm and glide
through the water. Then the 35-39 year old guys came through. Not sure why they
send the girls off and then send off the strongest, largest mens field. But just
when I was wondering if I was heading in the right direction, the boys came
through and my answer was quite clear. Yep, you're right in the middle of their
race line. Keep going.

I stood up when both hands hit the sand twice and began to run through the
shore waves. At the same time remove goggles, cap and top half of wetsuit. Reach
my bike, yep I found it for a change. And within a minute was out on the road
legs spinning easily.

Clear roads for a while saw my first of 3 laps go by quickly. 2nd lap was a
chance to get some speed in. Stomach cramps from swallowing too much salt water
hindered me getting the food in for a while. So while I waited for the pinch to
go I worked hard to get some good distance under my belt. 3rd lap of the 83km
course and I started to tire. I needed to get the food in and so I had to sit up
out of the aero position so that I could stretch out my middle and get the food
down. OK, done, get back into it. Head down and as the heat of the day let
itself known on the competitors and I started to feel the legs, the end of the
bike leg was in sight. Very happy with my ride I dismounted and headed into
tranistion again to rack my bike and get ready to run.

The heat worried me a lot for the run leg. But as I ran out of transition I
was determined to run in front of the crowd and my friends and as soon as I was
out of sight only then would I let myself walk. I should not have panicked. I
should have trusted my legs and my fitness and as I dissapeared out of sight of
friends the legs just kept on ticking on.

I ran the 20kms faster during this race than what I had done previously when
I ran a half marathon without the bike. I was extremely happy. I was sensible in
that I didn't push it and run up and down two steep short hills and I walked the
aid stations getting the nutrition right first. Still I had a great race. My
ITBs held strong and as I headed home on the second lap I managed to come up off
my heels and run on my forefeet so that as I came down the last 3kms of the run
I got stronger and faster.

The cheers from my friends were amazing and I felt amazing. As I crossed the
finish line I didn't fall in a heap. I walked calmly to the aid station and
helped myself to a well earned piece of fruit and icecream.

At the end of the day, I feel bolstered that my fitness is so good. That my
body is ready and now I truly believe that this Ironman is fully within my
grasp. (barring accident or illness). The next 7 weeks are going to be hard. But
this will only make me more prepared and ready to play.

Legs of Lead and a head to match

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh my.

I woke up this morning and ok..... I am awake, I'm up, I'm going through the
motions. I'm rolling down the road at 5.20am. But I am not having fun. I meet up
with my friend after climbing a short sharp hill to get there and going lactic
in the first 2kms of the ride. We head off and it is sooo dark I can't see a
thing in front of me. Yup my light isn't working. My friend's is but I can't see
round her. No offense but she is a big girl. Anyways the road is covered in
little rocks. Scarey stuff. Now I wish for cars to go by so they can light the
road for just a moment so I can see the road ahead. My legs are tired. YOu know
that tired where it feels like you're packing 5 kilo weights strapped round your
ankles. My shins/calves are tight and my head isn't happy. It is so dark we
abort our planned route and take one that will lead us on further down the
highway and towards a big long hill. The flat is a relief and the ride has only
just begun. "Come on Sammi, find the mojo." No go. We find the base of the hill
and begin the grind and I wait for the body to respond. But nothing happens. I
can't turn back, its a dual carriage highway...it's onward and upward. "Common
TRiathlete, get your a$$ up the hill!" I find a high gear and spin my legs and
crawl slowly up the hill. Finally at the top some relief as we have a slight
down hill and a turn to the left. A short rollercoaster dip and then relief as
we find a long steep downhill run. I get into the aero position and feel the
wind whistling past my ears, my legs sigh relief. I glance at the horizon and
across the sea the sun is struggling just like me. There is a band of cloudy
mist hugging the horizon. The sun and I have something in common this
morning....a foggy start. At the bottom of the hill the road winds round a lazy
river where we swim. This morning the mud is showing through as the tide has run
out. The river and I have something in common, this morning......we are both
empty. Over a bridge and out into the country side and the bumpy original route
we had planned now has a grey outline where we can distinguish the bumps and pot
holes. Farmers share this road and drive the cows to the dairy and so the
council has never bothered to resurface this road. The cows and I have something
in common this morning.....we are challenged by the pitfalls of a bumpy road. I
search my head for strategies to rise myself above my present challenge. I have
nothing. I call to my friend that we will ride to the 'Turn around point" and
head for home. My body wants to turn around now...my bed is calling me holding
me to ransom...."See you should have stayed with me, I'm comfortable and snuggly
and I am the happy place" I reach the turn around point and not even the fact
that I am heading for home gives my body relief. I remember how big a weekend I
had and I decide to give myself a break. Let the legs do the speed they want.
Stop pushing them cause I am not going to win and they will carry me home
eventually. So at the turn around point I turn my head around and accept that
today is going to be a day of "let it go Sammi, let it go." As predicted my legs
finally carried me home. If nothing else I can trust them to do that for me.
They will always carry me home. Remember that Sammi. No matter how tired they
are, This too shall pass and they will carry me home. I carried my bike through
the house and nestled it into it's bed and then I stripped down and fell into my
own bed. I set the alarm and an hour later started my day again.

The calm before the storm

Port Macquarie half Ironman! Here I come! Come what may!

So today was like any other day, accept no training. So I have energy to burn. I feel fit and strong. I have packed my kit and it sits now by the door waiting to be transferred to the car first thing in the morning. My weapon (bike) sits in its stand. Odd looking as I have removed the front wheel for transporting. It looks like it is on its knees. Praying to Mecca perhaps lol.

No prayers though. Not for me. Just work to be done. My head is calm. Nervous? mmmmm not really. As I sit here reflecting on my feelings I think about the past 6 months and how I have faired. I have ticked the majority of my program boxes. This instills some confidence or at the very least a realisation that there was not much more that I could do in preparation for the event so not worried. What will be' will be.

I am happy with how I have been swimming. My stroke has improved. A lot more 'long boat' than 'short boat' action happening. If I don't improve on my time it is still ok as I will finish less fatigued due to improved form. The bike? again, I have done the work. I have been doing regular 90km rides so I know I can do the distance. Oh but the run......... I have had the ITB injury, I have not done hardly any running, the longest run I have done is 50 minutes. I am not sure if I am going to hurt myself again. Not sure if I can do the distance...... obviously here is the glitch. Oh oh, can the Sammi run? Stay tuned teamsters. This could end in tears. lol. Seriously though, if I have to walk the whole damn way, I will.

The only other area of immense concern for me is my weight! I have only myself to blame. I put on my race kit and felt like the Stay Puffed Marshmallow Man. This is within my ability to control and I have not done it. For every kilo I carry on the run, the more energy I use, the more speed I sacrifice, the more poundage I put on my joints. This team; is where I have failed in my prep. The run was due to injury that may have been avoidable if the weight was gone. I'm talking 5-6 kilos here. Not massive, not enough to lose the loose skin that embarrasses me as I run. The weight will be my major focus after this race. I can not do an Ironman at this weight!

There are 5 of us doing the whole race. and there are two teams of 3. So 11 people in all plus friends. By mest mate and chief "Sammi Catcher" will be at the end waiting for me. It is an awesome feeling seeing her standing there at the finish line. Her arms open wide spurring me on to finish. It is going to be a wonderful weekend. I'll get back to you shortly and tell you how it plays out team. Til then train safe x x

Feeling a bit lonely

Weird! I am standing in the pool. Lane 1. Coach is standing at the head of the lane calling the sets. In the lane with me are about 8 other swimmers. Same in lane 2 and 3. Lane 1 is for slow, lane 2 faster etc. Of the 20+ people about 10 of us are headed to Port Mac for the half Ironman this weekend. My fellow swimmers range in age, size, ability and gender.

The uni pool where I swim 28.5degrees - girl heat!

I get the sets done, I'm last to touch the wall every time. I get a double thumbs up from coach. Two of the girls in my lane are excellent runners. I'm not exagerating here. 1 girl is a 'preferred runner' that means she gets an individual invitation to attend the Boston and New York Marathons. Wow! They are both 20 years younger than me. Hard to relate to them. What the hell am I doing here? I am crying on the inside. I'm thankful for the goggles.

They are all joking and laughing and I feel distant. Nobody realises that I am off to Port too. I wonder if they don't think I am capable?  I'm headed to the showers and feel the energy draining from my body. Stifling sobs I quickly change and head for the sanctuary of my car. I burst into tears. It hurts and it burns and I want a cuddle and I want someone to take the pain away. I make excuses for the tears....I pushed too hard, its just dinner time and I am hungry. Driving home in the dark, way past dinner time, and other 'normal' people are home after a long days work and hanging out with loved ones, my mind wonders.....

Nobody else my age is doing this that I know. I have friends who run on the weekends and they swim occasionaly. And they go for a group ride out in the country on the weekends. They are all at home with their families having dinner right now. Noone has decided, like me, to do Ironman and take this weekend thing we do sometimes, to a full committment lifestyle experience. Am I stupid? Am I delusional? I am lonely? I am alone!

I do have mates who I ride with. Young guys, older guys, husband, girlfriend. I have mates I run with on the weekends, husband during the week. I have these swimmers standing beside me about to enter the same race as me. I have my coach and my physio who support and advise me. They are all in my corner encouraging me. But I stand alone. Do I need a best friend sweating alongside me 24/7? No. 

Maybe the real thing is that I wonder if I am stupid for thinking I can do this. What if I finish last? Of the 1500 competitors at the Half this weekend. 19 are women in my age group. There are only 18 other women out there like me. Some weekend warrior who got a stupid crazy idea that they could do this just like me. I guess it is self doubt. My inner voice is quiet, you know that voice, the one that usually tells you that your brave, strong and believes in you. She is silent. I seriously could crawl into bed and not do this. Geez I need to crawl under Gazza's arm and disappear in his strong reassuring embrace.

The funny thing is, although the little voice is as quiet as a child's whisper right now, she is relentless in my ear. She never stops believing.

She is my hero. "And though she be but little, she is fierce!" That's Shakespeare team.

6 More Sleeps........

Well, it is Monday morning and my week has already begun. Normally a hard session in the home gym, but today I opted for a Yoga class. Using the P90X set in the DVD my mate and I stretched and chatted about the week ahead.


The plan is in, my Coach sends me my program on Sunday nights and from there I plan my week. This week is taper week. Because it is 6 more sleeps until my race. Race? Yep it's a Half Ironman Triathlon. This will be the 2nd last "Half" to be held by that name in Australia. No biggy really. The same races will be here next year, re-badged to come in line with the rest of the world and call them 70.3. I like that better. I hate saying I am doing a Half Ironman. It detracts from the event in some way. Devalues it, like saying, oh you are only doing half.... Well I don't know about anyone else, but a Half Ironman or 70.3 aint some day walk in the park. It is hard work.


So my race is in Port Macquarie, New South Wales, Australia. Just check out this spot. It is a beautiful place in the world.

See the boats on the left. That is where I will swim, along with 1499 other triathletes. And I will ride and run across the little bridge several times. Am I ready? Well, I hope so. My swim I have been happy with. Last Half I did the swim in 43 minutes. Not great but it was fresh water and really hot murky water too. The ride I did in 3.50 hours. Not great, but this was my first ever half and boy was it hot. Over 30 degrees easily. This time I have been working with my coach and I hope to have a better time. And my run last time was 2.31. The run this time may not be much better as I have had I.T.B problems and it is only just getting better so I don't want to re-injure myself so I am erring on the side of caution there and will walk home if I have to rather than aggravate anything. My eye is on the prize. I am going for the full Ironman and this is merely a step. It is not an end.
So committing my (wish list) times here for the record.

• Swim 38minutes
• Bike 3hrs 15 minutes
• Run 2hrs 30minutes (due to injury) would have preferred 2.10.
• Total time in the office 6.23
• Last year (different course too though) 7.04
• Wish list time - 6.00

Why 6hrs. Because a "friend" of mine did the same race in 2008 and dropped a challenge that she did the race in 6.02. I wish this could be mine. It would so shut her up once and for all. I don't usually get involved with competing with others, usually I compete with only 1 person (ME!) but she has been provoking me for a long time. But I have to remember this race is not about the win, it is the journey.