I am not a happy camper peeps. Not Happy at all. I was supposed to be racing this weekend. I had signed up to the 10km Sydney Run. I did it last year and fell on a curb but otherwise finished the race. I had hoped this year to repeat and improve. Apparently its not to be. Yet again I rip up another race number and waste money.
Sorry, this is a pouty spoilt brat post today. But I am also very upset. I have been working so hard on my core and strength work. Not hard enough though. Not enough to make a significant improvement and prevent injury. Geezus I am so annoyed.
In a moment of feeling sorry for myself I look up and compare myself to others in the Crew. I have, over time, learnt not to do this and just focus on my own game. But last week one of the Crew, who also suffers from ITB issues, got up and did a marathon in 3:38. Now all I can say is WTF! She is 40. She wasn't running and now running and doing it in style. Hats off to her. I need to work harder. Pouty moment over!
This photo tells the story about what's going on, more than I can describe. Searing pain at the knee joint. The end symptom of an imbalance occurring in my hip region. If you scan back through these posts, there will be regular references to this. Its been with me before my first Ironman. 2011.
I'm frustrated as hell. I sent a text out to Coach this morning. "Morning update from face down in the mud. Went out for my run. Got about 2kms and then both knees just went. Walked home in pain. Normally stops when I walk, so I figure they are both fucked. Still in pain, both sides. It's not ok. I'm not ok. I'm off to work now to take it out on some poor innocent. Talk to you later."
Some back and forth comments checking in this afternoon. I have still not been able to find my happy thought. I struggle with continuing on, one let down after another. I struggle with Gazza and my friends questioning Coach. I push back. The man is in Spain working with the Olympians, as if he isn't the best. However, my love of the sport and my inner strength to pick myself up and carry on is waning badly. Maybe I should give up and choose something else to do. Perhaps its time. BUT deep down I want to keep going. I enjoy the fitness, the friends, the AP Crew, Coach etc. I will ask Coach about the ITB release surgery. Its the last stone unturned. In the meantime though I have made a decision.....
No racing! I will not sign up for any more races and waste any more money until.....
I have run without issue, under pressure and at full load, at my maintenance weight and having built a strong base of strength and core work and have confidence that I am fully ready and prepared for the race. I think reasonably I am talking about taking a year off racing. That includes no Husky L.C 2016. I will call Western Sydney off and watch to see if I can get my entry fee back too.