Last night was my scheduled treatment time for physio and 1:1 time with Coach. It's always an amazing opportunity. An hour of uninterrupted time with Coach as he checks the ol' bod' is still in one piece, aligned and the itbs are playing the game (which they are phew!) It is also time where Coach checks in on me in other ways. "How are you Sammi?" is not just about are you sore, are the itbs ok, what hurts. His question more relates to how are you handling the work load, how's work, are you stressed, are you sleeping, what's the diet going like, are you tired etc. It's the mental check-in as well as the body. His approach is wonderfully holistic.
Previously, I had brushed over his inquiries with a wave of the hand and a 'Yep I'm cool." as a standard response. I have learnt however, that this doesn't help him learn about me and how much work load he can give me before me and/or the body can't take any more. Countless hours laying on the physio table with him gently prodding and probing for answers to his questions has finally melted the ice maiden and now when I walk in the room and he asks "How are you Sammi?" with a concerned and genuine look on his face, finds me sometimes jabbering on about crap that I would never normally discuss with anyone, except maybe Gazza.
One of the main things I am discovering is that I find it hard to recognise fatigue. Weird I suppose. I figure if you're tired then sleep. However, I am learning that if you are fatigued then it is like a snowball rolling down a hill effect I reckon. It's like doing a hard session and then hitting the showers and bed. You wake up in the morning after a solid nights sleep and expect that during the night your body has recovered and is ready to go again fresh, recovered, stronger and keen for more of the same. WRONG!!!!! It's more like the body has not fully recovered and a little layer of fatigue has stuck itself to the outside of the snowball. Each session adds another layer of fatigue and there is never enough sleep in 8 hours to shake off the layers. Eventually my snowball hits the bottom of the hill and smashes into smithereens. Usually after a race I find or after about 6 weeks of the program. The problem is the smash in reality is me laying in bed for a week unable to find the motivation to get up and do the program/work/sessions.
What should happen is that I recognise that there are layers gathering on my snowball, the hill is getting steeper and the snowball is gathering speed. I then need to act and find ways to scrape off the layers, slow the speed and adjust the incline of the hill. I got to say I really haven't found the answer to how yet. I am trying though and with regular check-ins with Coach and communicating honestly about how I (or rather the snowball) is travelling is crucial.
But now imagine that my snowball which is travelling along at a, let's say cracking pace, as I get to the end of a big 4 week training cycle and has to travel through a blizzard and then gets hit by an avalanche. Yep, let's add a good load of outside factors and internal factors to the mix. Good old stress and hormones. Stress for me is having my kid away serving in Afghanistan, having my girlfriend living with us (moved out now though) and work. Previously a cruizy individual without a care in the world and could forget totally that work even existed when the weekends came round, now I find myself getting stressed quicker. Remnants of my previous job and the bullying etc that went on. (But that's a previous blog) The point is that I still haven't healed completely. After all it has only been 6 months. I should give myself a break, and I do. It's just hard for me to recognise when the stress is coming on and because I internalise it no-one sees what's happening on the inside. To all, I am in control, calm under fire and happy go lucky. On the inside the blizzard is raging and the snowball is reaching break neck speed.
Now let's add a great big dollop of hormones. Yeah I'm female and that sux when it comes to the swinging moods and hormones that flush through the system each month or so. At 47 you would think they would quit their fussing and go pick on some other poor soul. But nope, I still find that there are times across the month where, I just wanna kick the poor dog across the yard and then crawl up in a tiny ball and hide from the world and then eat the fridge out. Sometimes there are just never enough Tim Tams to make it go away. And after discussions with Coach I am learning that there are other hormones that are associated with fatigue, neural overload, muscular stress etc that are also in the mix.
The snowball is now reaching Warp 6......(insert Scotty quote "She canny take anymore Captain!")........As I plummet headlong into oblivion I realise that this week I have a healthy (or rather unhealthy) dose of all 3 factors. Yep, I got the hormones, stress and fatigue all mixing up in one big cauldron of steaming crappola. Way to go Sammi!
Answer??????
Give myself a break. Yep, easier said than done. Sleep-ins, program on hold, do what I have to as far as sessions are concerned. Try and eat healthy avoiding comfort food. (Epic fail on the avoidance strategy). TALK TO COACH!!!! - Working on that one.
Tonight is an open water swim with Coach and the Crew. I will roll up for that. Saturday is 100kms on the bike, yep I will roll up for that. Sunday is a club team race, yep I wont let the team down and I'll show.... Monday is rest and then the week will start again. I will pick up my shit covered proverbial snow sled and trudge the long walk back up the hill to jump on the luge ride again. Hoping that I can find strategies to lessen the incline, recognise the snow that I am gathering along the way and put the brake on when I see I am gathering too much speed.
Wish me luck.... oh and if you are an experienced snowball rider and have found an answer...feel free to share with the Rookie. Enjoy the Ride!!!!
This blog is dedicated to Megzy - whose snowball just hit the wall.. It happens to the best of us.
After a right off yesterday as far as a bike ride, due to weather. Foul weather that is. Winds up to 50km in the bullets, youch! Finally Sunday looked more promising and Hubby (Big Gazza) and I headed out for a 7am meet up with The Onion Man and Baby Bear.
The plan (Coach's plan that is) was to ride 100kms and once done do a 30min easy run off the bike. Well, that all came undone in the end. But I jump ahead.
So we headed North with a nice 15 knott wind at our backs. As it was Gazza's and Baby Bear's first ride back after a break we aimed for an easy ride any way, so we sat on about 25km average. The conversation was lively. Side note: I much prefer riding with guys than girls. The topics are much more livelier and appeal to me more than recipes and snotty noses. Anyhow, we cruised through the city heading North all the time. Passed by a poor fellow who forgot to uncleat as he drew up to a traffic light. You gotta hate the sound of carbon fibre hitting the tarmac. He was ok, though a little embarrassed. We pushed on and I admired the beautiful sea. Yesterday it had been a sea of galloping white horses but today it was smooth and blue as a saphire. Once we reached the turn around point we pulled up quickly to strip off long fingered gloves and a layer as finally it was warming up a little.
Homeward bound, Dextro bar and GU in and supping on my biddon the whole way didn't help at all. I was maxed out. And with 40kms to ride I knew I was going to have to dig deep into the "hurt locker" (Jon Gilchrist) I put my head down, hid behind The Onion Man so that I could draft off him and worked the little legs hard to keep up. Keep up! We were still only doing 25kmph. Gazza quietly asked me if I needed to tap out and call for a friend to pick me up. Hell's No! In other words by Jon - quoting Rocky "I aint heard no Bell" and so I pushed on ticking the legs over and feeling my quads straining with every stroke.
We said goodbye to Baby Bear at the 60km mark, the Onion Man at the 70km mark and hubby and I put our heads down and literally I limped home.
I'm not sure what went wrong today. Last weekend I rode a hillier harder course and managed an easy 10min run off the bike. I had a big week. A hard 2 hour session on the wind trainer and swims, runs and gym sessions have contributed to the blow out today (I assume) I can't pin point what else may have gone wrong. But its ok. We have days, even weeks where this happens. So I am going to go easy on myself and give myself a break. Its ok. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger and I managed to make it home to live another day.
The ride to Struggle Town on Shattered Legs
So, things are ticking along here down under in the world of SammiVille. Getting the work done and ticking some boxes. Always seeking that illusive 'ticked every box this week' goal. Not quite reaching it but getting mighty darn close just quietly.
Big News on the home front!!!!!
It's visual, so here goes.....
is Sign up for............
One more pic til you guess it.......
YEP...........YOU GUESSED IT!.....THE 23rd OF MAY IS THE SIGN-UP DAY FOR IRONMAN AUSTRALIA 2013.....
And I have decided to do it all again. I am going to repeat the lunacy and have another crack at this thing called I.M.
Coach reminded me that this thing we do...yeah, this Ironman thing that we do is not NORMAL.
My response was....'Yeah no shit Sherlock!' Entries open at 11am. Computers/servers will probably go down at 11.05am as 1700 competitors try to enter at once. But I will be there along with a few other buddies of mine pushing the buttons and burning up the credit card. Yep, one word..Lunacy!
But, Hey, what else would I be doing with my time. I have had such a good week (even though I missed 2 swim sessions due to a stiff neck) I caught up with my running buddies and had fun doing an hour of hill repeats with them. Went for an hour Xcountry run with the dog, swam with a buddy and got that illusive left elbow to stay up, rode with 3 good mates for just shy of 90kms with a 10min run off the bike and then finished it off with a 60min run this morning nice and easy with a buddy and his wife.
Not bad hey!
Program is in from Coach tonight and it looks bigger than Ben Hur. A bit daunting and I can see some big efforts coming my way. A 2 hour wind trainer session, Yikes. But the best and I guess only thing to do is hit them one at a time, don't think to much about it or too far ahead and see how much I can achieve. Focus of course on quality. I have a 100 clicker on the bike on Saturday with a half hour run off. Noice! So let's see how we fair. I'll get back to you shortly.
I'm also hoping for a top week on the diet front too and water! Drink more water Sammi! Geezluweeez!
I hope you are all travelling along fine too and I hope to come stalk you soon and catch up on your blogs.
Cheers x
Well I got to say team. Its been a hell of a week! The roller coaster ride is on a constant zig zag up and down, highs and lows and now backwards and forwards too.
The positive highs....my ITB finally seems to have eased. So far this week I have been for a 20 minute run with 30sec run, 30sec walk intervals. How bad is that lol. But at the end of it all the knee seemed to be ok and the burning was no worse. I have also rocked out 2 wind trainer sessions on the bike, both without drama. Ice and rolling are the norm of course and stretching too. I think what I have learnt from all of this angst, is that the injury will pass and sometimes you have to go backwards to move forwards, but overall I think I have learnt that if I stay on top of the stretching and rolling I will prevent this from happening again. I sure am going to try anyway. So my 20minute run will soon creep back up to decent distances and times again soon I am sure.
The lows...... well it's cold and wet and windy and I have huge trouble getting up in the morning on days like this. After work can be an issue to as all I want to do is run home and hope into my pj's and curl up on the lounge and vegetate. I like it better having my gear in the car and travelling to the training session and not home first. I had my swim gear in the car and as the day drew on I knew I wasn't going to battle an unusually cold squally day to go swim in the outdoor pool. Going home meant picking up husband and girlfriend and heading to the indoor pool. A possible option that I would have followed through on if my work day hadn't been such a crap one.
The other lows....today was full of emotional eating. Yep the diet flew out the window and as I was smashing through chocolate and 4 small Easter buns I recognised what I was doing and took comfort in the food. I didn't feel guilty about it as I had recognised and was aware of my actions. I didn't attempt to rein it in as I needed to be comforted and food was the only hug I was getting today til I got home. A tough couple of days at work with no positive end in sight and me not being brave enough to make some tough decisions about my future with the company. You see 'Senior Management' are making some changes to identity etc and the changes do not sit comfortably with me. 'We' (middle managers) have been told to get on board or get out. Many other managers are uncomfortable with the actions and intimidation tactics but are not prepared to go any further with it. I understand, they have to pay a mortgage, me too. Anyway, I can make a choice hey! I can put up with it, earn my 9to5 and go home and train and focus on life outside of work like family and triathlon etc or I can leave, take my long service leave and have a break and look for new employment. These are the thoughts that plague me. And while I wanted this blog to be about triathlon and my training, and not small trivial things, obviously other factors are going to contribute, affect and hinder this goal from time to time and if I don't document these aspects then I can't reflect properly later about my journey.
So these are the thoughts I am trying to catch today........and in the meantime I have not trained now and missed 2 sessions. What I have learnt (the hard way) is that you can not buy those missed sessions back no matter how hard you try or how well you juggle. Something will give in the end be it energy, injury/body, recovery/sleep, work or life, something will give and so I say adios to the 2 missed sets today and focus on tomorrow. No rain checks.
Tomorrow is a 20min run with 40sec run/20sec walk. Tomorrow arvo is a massage and then 1 hour on the wind trainer. Let's get er done Sammi hey!!!!
5 weeks 3 days to Dextro Challenge!
62kgs - stay focused!
Get the work done!
Don't miss a session from here on in!
Be proud of yourself, stretch and don't sweat the small stuff!
