Yo, Over here....I'm over here......

NO, I haven't shut up shop. I'm still here.

December 6 2016, saw me tear the meniscus in two place on my left knee. From then until now it has been a slow recovery, MRIs and a resting bitch face that wont leave!

So where we are we at?

More determined than ever! Can I run another marathon? That's the million dollar question I guess.

I asked myself a question. What was working or what worked once upon a time, that I can bring back now and use. Sure, a lot of things have failed, or I grew bored. But there were a lot of things that did work. I only really realised they worked when they stopped being present. So, I have been dialling in a few things that worked previously over the last months while I have been rehabbing the knee.

• I have pulled out the old training diary again and started to keep track of my progress, mood, energy, soreness, stress etc.
• I have returned to Genesis gym. Close to home, 24/7. Its changed a lot but for the better, the gym seems more flexible. You can move weights about without fear of getting frowned at.
• I have gone back to the Dietitian and have been staying off the scales and on the Dexa scans.
• I have signed in to a Challenge to keep me focused and driven. I know now that I need to do 6 months hard work to get back to my race weight and reset the set-point for my weight. Slowly heading down again.
• I am tracking my macros so I can keep my protein up.
• Gone back to Vicki's stretch class, an hour and a half of sustained stretching. Of course the knees and wrists are cranky as.

new stuff to though:

• Up at 5am every morning regardless
• Listening to motivational podcasts
• Also decided to throw in full-time study on top of everything else. Just to keep it interesting.

I'll keep you posted.

Setting Myself Some Rules.......

"Perfection isn't attainable, but if we chase perfection we can catch excellence." Vince Lombardi

"Consistency on its own will take you far"..............

In no particular order.........

1. Monitor fat loss by using a tape measure or body composition and photos, not just the scales only.
• Well, I tend to hop on the scales once a week. Monday morning sees me naked in the hallway perched on top of the scales, one eye closed the other squinting and then a yelp of horror when after a solid week of focus there is no change....or worse, an increase.
• I'm not totally naïve, I know that there is water weight, muscle weight, bone density that can increase weight. A body composition scan would be best. I was doing the Dexa scans once a month. But stopped a little while before my Europe trip. Maybe its time to head back for a truer snapshot of where I am at.
2. Measure hips, legs, arms, bust, and waist.
• I measure these areas approx. every 6 weeks. The stats have expanded. 4 cm added to the butt. oh dear.
3. Cut out the refined carbs
• Refined carbs and sugars have been cut significantly from my diet. I know where the sugar can be hidden, fruit juice, fruit, yoghurt and so I can tell roughly how much sugar I am getting. Usually between 6-8 teaspoons a day. Well within healthy ranges.
4. Do strength/weight training
• LACKING! I'm having a lot of trouble getting back into a gym routine. I miss having a training buddy to meet and work out with.
5. HITT - High Intensity Interval Training
• I haven't done any HIIT training in running for a long time. Walk/run is the standard fair. But sprints and walking I hardly do. Consider doing HIIT.
6. Drink water - 1oz or water per pound of body weight = 4.5ltrs !!!
• That's a lot of water. I need to double check these numbers. But adding lemon to my water has helped me increase the amount of water I am drinking.
7. L-Luicene 1/2 teaspoon added to water daily.
• Only on days I have worked out as it is so expensive. But I get it in my water bottle along with the lemon.
8. Become an expert on diet and fitness
• Working on it. I can pretty much hold my own in a conversation about the body and how it works. I would love to become a dietician. It fascinates me and I like the challenge. But what I don't like is knowing the information and still not acting on it or finding the consistency. its an excuse!
9. 5-6 meals per day, 3 main + 2 snacks
• Yep, got that one. 3 main meals and 2 snacks, plus a banana on swim days and if it is a heavy work load and the calories allow - then a protein custard and berries at night.
10. Separate carb meals by 5-6hrs. Eat carbs at Breakfast and Dinner 2 meals a day only have carbs.
• Hmm, this one is tricky and new to me. I find it easier to go without carbs at dinner time. but not having carbs at lunch time leaves me looking for the sweet biscuits and chocolate.
11. No simple/refined carbs 30mins before exercise and 2hrs after????not sure about that one.
• I can do the no refined carbs prior to morning exercise. But sometimes of an afternoon, especially before swimming I need a banana or something in my stomach otherwise I end up losing energy. Maybe a bigger lunch would be better.
12. Snack on proteins.
• All well and good, but I can't think of many protein snacks. Any suggestions out there?? Besides hard boiled eggs that is.
13. Black coffee is ok
• Oh Hallelujah! I can keep coffee. I have been drinking soy coffee of straight black, both with no sugar for some time now.
14. 25% carb ratio for fat loss
• My Fitness Pal saves the day. But 25% carbs gets there pretty quickly.
15. use quality food (e.g lean meat vs bacon)
• I think Gazza and I choose pretty clean, quality foods as much as possible. But could do better.
16. Less processed food is best
• We don't use processed foods. I haven't eaten a baked bean in ages. There is the occasional processed food of course, but on the whole I would say we are 98% good to go.
17. It takes 72hrs to get carbs out of the system to start burning fat. Less if you exercise its less.
• So when I finally want to hit some significant numbers, I need to get this part sorted. To do this try 1-2 weeks with 25% carbs.
18. Take protein at night to stop sugar cravings/dessert
• Sorted! We have found a protein custard that we have at night Isolate Protein, slow release.
19. Look for low GI carbs as a preference
• A little homework required here. But the more raw and least broken down is the go.
20. No bananas apples grapes during fat loss phase
• Cutting out bananas will be tricky. Swimming and on the bike, Bananas are a staple. Will give it some thought.
21. Nuts only during maintenance.
• So I ate all of the macadamias left in the pantry in preparation for the big cut. Going to miss my almonds. 
22. Fat loss optimum Carbs 25% Protein 50% Fat 25%
• Upping the protein has been the hardest part of the whole program so far. Shakes are the only way to make the numbers. But my previous protein mix was a 50/50 carb/protein mix so I have moved to protein only. I had a moment here and thought maybe that's where some sneaky carbs have been getting in.

B.E.A.R and a moment of clarity

So, I have been thinking about B. E. A. R of late.

 

Basically this is in response to kind of, sort of, unconsciously signing up for the 2017 Noosa Triathlon.

 

How do you unconsciously sign up for a triathlon? Well, I didn't sign up in my sleep; I just made a quick decision to do the race without thinking it through. That includes the logistics of travelling 12 hours, getting my bike to the race, accommodation, getting leave off work etc. But what I did do was send Coach a quick "Noosa?" comment of FB and he responded with... "and is the Dude a fucking Champion?" That's a yes by the way.

 

So then why is this a big deal? Well, there are two thoughts or rather, B. - beliefs running through my mind right now. One little belief says, "You're old, 51 is done, hang up your running shoes, sit on the lounge and crochet a rug or something." while another belief says, you got this, you are an athlete, you are strong and you want to compete and do stuff that other average 51 year olds can't do and besides 51 isn't old!"

 

I find it interesting; the beliefs that we hold about ourselves. The little voices, the self belief, the talk we tell ourselves about ourselves. 'I'm fat, I'm lonely, I'm too short, my nose is too big, I'm old.' or other beliefs such as 'I am strong, I am an athlete, I am good at swimming, I got this, I can sign up for Noosa and compete AND do well. I can do anything I set my mind to.'

 

B stand for Belief. The belief about myself. Right now, to be honest, my self belief has two stories running concurrently. And more accurately I think one is the story that society has bestowed upon me and what I have been taught by the people around me. And this is the one I am fighting. I don't want to disappear, something my mum said to me years ago after she turned 50. She said she had disappeared from magazines and shops. Somewhere down deep her comment struck a chord and stayed with me and it is hounding me now. While the other voice/belief, for some crazy reason, has taken a back seat to the other story. I'm not sure why but I feel like it has been overrun by the stupidity of a false belief. I think it was the strong positive self belief, the one that says that I am a capable, strong athlete that signed me up for the 2017 Noosa triathlon. It snuck out there while no one was watching and pushed the enter button on my computer. It is the truth though, this strong self belief voice and I need to let it shout out loud much more often. And that is why I say, I unconsciously signed up for Noosa.

 

Belief leads to E. Emotions. From the moment of clarity (and I have to admit some time on the couch chatting with a professional with a piece of paper tucked behind a glass frame inserted here was needed). The realisation that turning 50 was a sign to myself to stop and the fact that this was a false belief and not of my own design, meant that I don't have to own it. I am free to let my true self belief come shining through. Coincidentally its interesting to add here, that one belief makes me feel so horribly bad and depressed. While the other lifts me up and I feel positive, energetic and strong. I sing in the mornings and cruise through my day at work. I am focused on the things that matter to me most of all.

 

So, Beliefs lead to Emotions. I feel focused, in the moment, present, in control. Not drifting through my week 'ticking boxes' (which btw is something Coach hates hearing from his athletes).

 

The Onion Man, Me, Slippery and The Plasma

Belief leads to Emotions which leads to A. Action. I set out yesterday, present and focused on what I needed to do during my ride. While I rode with the boys and chatted merrily, I also was focused on what Coach had set in my plan. And again today, I went out for my run. I didn't need to be poked in the ass with a cow prodder to get going. I was focused and engaged in the process. Action, setting goals and working out the process and strategies to get to the goal. Noosa. Working with Coach to make sure I arrive at the start line, prepared, present, focused and ready to 'get my hands dirty.' 12 months of solid, quality work is the road ahead for me.

 

And Action leads to R. Results. Todays run resulted in one of the best sessions I have done in such a long time. I felt light as I ran up the hill doing hill repeats. I was relaxed in mind and body. I didn't want to be anywhere else. I didn't want the session to end early so I could be home. I didn't want someone else there with me to distract me from the pain. I stayed focused and the result was a fantastic feeling of accomplishment. R. for Results.

 

Beliefs lead to Emotions which lead to Actions and end in Results!

 

Travel Time............

After 9 months of careful planning and absence of so many things, mostly training, Big Gazza and I are ready to fly.

 

Of course the world has gone crazy....Nice, Turkey, train crashes...arghhhhh! But our spirits are not dampened. It's time to take a pause in life and go and explore some new and beautiful places together and challenge ourselves.

Our trip breaks up into a number of different chunks:

 

1. Italian Explorer
2. High Pyrenees - by bike
3. High Pyranees Hike - Yikes!
4. Paris & Normandy - a cultural experience
5. Tattoos and Hame Country - Scotland The Brave
6. Ireland - of Ponies and Kissing Rocks
7. Let's get warm - Kuala Lumpur chill out before work

 

 

Hills, Hikes and Happy Snaps.........

 

So, the training has officially begun for the High Pyrenees Explorer. 16 days of hiking in the Pyrenees, bordering France and Spain. Four intrepid adventurers wandered off into the Blue Mountains. Planning an overnight hike. Govett's Leap - Straight into a steep descent down slippery wet rock stairs with 10kgs in the backpack was a shock initiation. I have trekked with a pack before but no warm up, made for a quick need to reorientate the body to the extra load shifting about and affecting my balance. I employed, for the first time, a hiking pole. Ok, 50 sucks and my 50 year old knees need the extra aid. I'm not proud, pass me the damn pole.

We had planned a 14km hike in and then returning out along the same route. We had our eyes on a campsite on the rivers edge. Once we found the bottom of the valley we followed the rivers flow and travelled through rainforest, open Aussie bush scrub and the amazing Blue Gum forest. Unfortunately for me, my brand new boots, with only one 8km hike around Barren Grounds to break them in, decided they didn't want to do the hike in one piece. The entire sole of my right boot decided to peel away after only an hour into the hike. WTF!!!! Now what do I do! Luckily I had packed some rigid tape for my ITB, just in case, and taped my sole back to my boot. After a short while, guess what? the left sole started to peel.

 

I trekked with my eyes peeled to the ground searching for bailing twine and other bits and pieces I could use to hold my boots together. In true MacGyver style I taped, tied and rubber-banded my boots together. We made it to the campsite after 6hours of hiking and set up camp. What a beautiful spot. Right by the river and the weather was so warm that I was very comfortable. We swam in the river, well I tippled my toes in the water while Big Gaz, Papa Bear and Queen B got wet. We had a great afternoon setting up camp, making dinner and then playing cards, drinking Black Sambuca and eating rocky road. It was so quiet, far from coms, ipads, emails and work. I was so relaxed. I had spent a solid couple of days finishing off my studies so that even that stress had now gone. That night we settled into our tent, no sleeping bag required, tent doors open for ventilation and to let the sound of the river seep into my dreams. Within minutes I was asleep and I slept soundly.

 

I woke in the morning early and listened to the sounds of the dawn and the forest waking up before crawling out of our little pod and into the gorgeous morning. Breakfast was relaxed and when we set off we were in good spirits, but we had decided to see how my boots held up and if it wasn't looking good by Pierce's Pass then the boys would take a shortcut back to the car for an early exit. But shortly after starting to hike out, I became very frustrated with the flapping, as the tape and all the other paraphernalia had finally let go. Now walking on the foam inner soles we pressed on. This is the stuff that great adventures are made of I announced. Secretly hoping that all would end well and we would make it out.

 

The final press for the exit was a 500m ascent again up the side of the waterfall. Now walking on fibreglass soles over slippery wet rocks added another dimension to the struggle I was already experiencing. Yikes. A slow and steady climb with each footfall carefully placed. Still with 10kg on board, we made it out. Let's just say, I was totally spent. I sat later in the pub dining on a steak and veggies and feeling the muscles in my legs shudder and spasm every couple of minutes, and listened to the stories and laughs we had experienced. And the plans for the next hike.... Geez! Team give me a minute. A trip to Paddy Palin in Sydney and a brand new pair of Scarpa's. Ok, now you can bring it on!



Do Not Leave Alone Unsupervised.........

Have you ever thought to yourself after doing something really stupid...."Do not leave yourself alone and unsupervised."

Yep, well that was how I described it to my Coach/Physio as I walked stiff legged into his rooms for treatment yesterday. Having had a tight Piriformis from sitting on my lounge for 2 days straight til late every night doing assignments and then sitting in a classroom on a chair for 8 hours straight. I had tried to self treat by sitting on a ball which seemed to work. I also went and got a massage to work on my lower back and hammies as I also had a tight neck on the right hand side. All interrelated. The massage guy went a little hard, but it seemed ok. But combined with the ball sitting and next thing I know my hips were out of alignment and I had a dull ache radiating from the left side of my tail bone. It felt better to stand than sit and so I stood at my stand up desk all day at work trying to keep off it. Coach fitted me in for a quick treatment and while he worked on my hips we talked about life and training and goals for this year. I left, as I always do, feeling better and uplifted but strapped also.

I had a great week and some of the pressure was off loaded when I put some safety measures around myself. I respectfully declined some work commitments. An immediate relief. I also got some good training in, even with the butt being grumbly. A great run and the ITB never made an unhappy groan once. Sweet!

This weekend is a hike in and out at the Blue Mountains with an overnight camp sleeping on a self inflating mattress. Could be interesting with the butt and back. But I am looking forward to it. I'm outfitted with all the right gear now including a hiking pole for the downhill sections on the knee. So bring on nice weather hopefully and photos to come.

Finding the Balance........Challenge Accepted

So, Wollongong Triathlon has been and gone for another year. This year I took on the Sprint distance, only because 2 weeks earlier had been Husky Long Course. My body takes so long to recover that it was in serious doubt that my body would be good to go for the Olympic Distance. And at the end of the day I am glad I went the shorter option. I'm simply not as fit or anywhere near where I want to be as an athlete.
 
I can place a lot of excuses here, and I know there are no excuses! BUT you know what? sometimes its not excuses but priorities. I think I am getting lost in the priorities. So let me explain. Work. It seems that I have been thrust into a position where work is taking priority. Here's an example. Its Saturday, Coach has given me the day off. First one in so long I can't remember. I slept in, but then before I started this post I had to spend an hour writing an email for work purposes. No details here of course, but lets just say it HAD to be done. I ran out of time yesterday. So before I could write this post, I had work to do on my day off. So I ask myself what are my priorities. If I were Rinni Carfrae, it would be a different one to mine. I have to put food on the table and pay bills, just like she does, but I am not an amazing athlete like her, I am an average age grouper just living the dream, oh well, not quite I guess. I am not putting in the hours to be anything better than an average also. I could still do well even great in my age group if I could find the balance AND get my priorities right.
 

 
They sure do! Consequences....Sammi doesn't train, eat well, rest and get enough sleep then there is no way I am going to reach my dreams and goals. I do have choices. And setting my choices by what makes me happy is all important. It's going to be harder to make choices as work loads on more expectations and winter is coming in Aus. (that's an excuse right there). There is NO SUCH THING AS WORK-LIFE BALANCE! it is ALL about the choices. I can not expect anything more than what I choose to put in.
 
So when I am out there running in a triathlon and I expect to look like this......

 
But what I really look like is this...........
 

 
Then I have to reflect on my choices. Working more, training less, eating crap due to stress, versus eating to fuel, working at midnight versus getting enough rest......the list goes on. I can not expect to be the athlete I want to be on the path I am currently on. I need to check my priorities and make some sound choices for myself, remembering that no one will care when I am gone how much work I did. But I will care how well I lived my life and whether I realised my dreams or not.
 
So...
 

 
I am off to make better choices.