Finally, the itch has been scratched....

This might be quite possibly my last post. It's only been 12+ years. But here it is. Finally!

Its Christmas day here is Aus and around the world. The team are outside demolishing the back deck and so I figure it's an ideal time to write a race report.

To set the scene.... Many, many moons ago, I saw myself completing at least 3 Ironman events. Having completed 2 x Port Macs, I wanted flat and fast and so of course Busselton 'Busso' was calling. Those magical huts and the long jetty, super flat and fast bike course might have seen a 6-hour bike time and then a flat run along the beach with views for days. But a chronic ITB issue and then a torn meniscus, and never being able to run held me back. On top of this my old job and a bully got in the way. And then a life change and study were calling. Oh yeah, add menopause and I went from a svelte athlete to an average midlife lady with a little too much weight. On the flip side, my career progressed and took on a lot more responsibility. While I don't regret my current position. The third and final Ironman itch had never been scratched. 

Friends would ask me if I would ever do another Ironman? My answer was always "Never say Never!" But as the years passed, the question stopped being asked. And even I stopped dreaming of a comeback.

It didn't stop me having adventures though, and I have had an amazing time. Mostly cycling but hiking as well. So, the legs remained strong. The tear was fixed as good as gold and the years made the chronic inflammation ease. Additionally, we threw in Covid and the indoor trainer became our go to, to keep fit. 

With so many kms, years and events under my belt. AND, feeling particularly fit and energized one day, I signed up. I didn't tell anyone for quite some time. But finally announced / confessed to the team that I had signed up. This was well before Kez had truly started training, but now she was keen to train with me. And in two minutes decided she may as well join me and do the event. Flipping back in time in a previous post where she completed her first Ironman in Cairns.

2 years of Covid and life in the way. Even after Cairns I held my breath and waited to see if the fire lit in my belly once again. Kez was headed for Busso. Could I join her. Funnily enough the swim was daunting. First time ever, I was worried about the distance. I knew it would hurt. With no river swims under my belt and max distance for sets being approx. 1500-1800. Well under cooked. Biggest ride 100kms and run......8kms every week with one 14km run. Yes, well undercooked.

Trying to manage my menopause and excess weight gain, I had engaged the support of a Naturopath. Part of the regime was a couple of supplements that were trying to manage the stress of work, reset cortisol and stress hormones as well as lose weight. No shift in the scales across the final 6 months of training as I was hitting the protein through shakes and eating for energy and fuel. But noticeably was the calmness I felt.

We packed Lil Cervi, Miss Scarlet and Ollie and headed for Busso. I was calm. I stayed calm all the way up to the start line. I literally stood on the sand with Kez and chatted happily. I knew it was going to be a long day. But we were together. 

My 'why' had changed. Now no longer interested in beating times and competing and heading for podiums, I was focused on an amazing day with my beautiful daughter, and I got exactly what I asked for.

We ran into the water together. Excited and playing p to the camera. The water was incredible. Warm and clear. I could see every detail. We swam under the jetty that we had walked along just days before and headed for the long back straight down to the far buoy. It was a tough swim. Flat on the surface, but the tide was pushing us out and we had to fight the entire time. We rounded the buoy and back to teh start, we ran out of the water to do the in and out and quite honestly, I was spent, but knew I had to go again. another 2kms to go. Back into the tide, 1:37 swim.

T1. Kez was cold. She was struggling to get her cap off even. I helped her out of her wetsuit and cap before focusing on getting ready for the bike. Even my T1 time and ride kit told story of 'here for a fun time, not a fast time.' We headed out for the ride and into a head wind. It was a tough day. 45km winds with bullets gusting sideways with very little tail wind. We stopped regularly (even to go to the toilet) ate lots of lollies and chatted. I sat on Kezza's wheel the entire time. Together with our legal distance respected, we covered the 180kms comfortably. I even felt like I still had energy as we came into T2. Now that was unexpected, but I was really happy to feel like I had legs. 7:04 moving time.

T2 saw another costume change. Into matching running gear, we headed out into the sun. Yes, it was still sunny. We managed 2 laps before the sun started to set. It was a great run course. Flat, broken up with lots of features, D.Js, jetty, Centre of the spectator hub, great volunteers and really well-placed aid stations. We laughed, grunted and Fartlek'd our way through the kms. A Marathon can feel a very long way at times. But it is funny how the hours tick by. The course grew quiet, the spectators thinned, and we kept out jog / walk plan up to the end. A few places were too dark for confident running, and I was fearful we would join the walking dead, but we managed to keep going, even after my right knee gave up and Kezza's knee too. I looked at my watch to discover that if we kept the pressure on, we would beat my previous marathon time, I didn't tell Kez, but it kept me moving forward, 6:34, just under.

It was finally our turn to go left instead of straight. We turned into the chute to be met by the wining female. But we didn't care. We were winners. We had spent the entire 16:20hours together, laughing and celebrating out life together, our achievements, our love. We hugged and told each other our "I Love You's" and then walked hand in hand triumphantly for the red carpet. It was easy to find Jess and Gaz as there were only a handful of people at the finishing line now. 

Our medals swinging proudly, we headed home to bed.

So, my mind turns to my WHY.

No longer caught up in the race or life, but the quality of life. Quality spent with family. It's time to say I'm done and I'm ok with that. I don't see myself competing again. But I will always be an Ironman and a hero to my beautiful girl.

The Kid Becomes an IRONMAN

And so the great day has been and gone. Time marches on. But what an amazing day it was! 

She was so relaxed during the lead up to Cairns. She did everything I asked of her and more. She listened and executed her planned training to a tee and then come race day she put it all together in what turned out to be a brilliant race. 

Race morning she was calm and relaxed. We strolled through the early morning haze and hushed voices to transition. We likened it to a scene from the Walking Dead with a sea of quiet soles walking in the same direction. Each lost in their own thoughts. She disappeared into the crowd to find Scarlet who had spent the night hanging from the racks. 

Prepped and in her wetsuit we strolled down to the beach, a few hundred meters from our hotel and watched the pros leave. She had a warm up swim and declared the water warm, before she hugged us goodbye and started her day. I wanted to give her some words of strength. I didn’t quite get it right, but I think she knew what I meant. She slipped under the banner and into the water. We could see the entire swim course which was great and we tracked her progress. 

We walked down the beach and made our way slowly up to the swim exit and waited for her to arrive. It looked like a tough swim with a lumpy exit. Waves made it hard for swimmers to get out. But before we knew it, there she was. Pulling herself to upright before trotting up the sand and with a wave, she ran into transition. 

We caught her again at the mount line. She was away with a fist pump salute. She looked resplendent in her KTC tri suit and socks, Scarlet bedazzled in the sunshine. 

We boarded a shuttle bus and headed for Cairns. We grabbed a quick nap on the long ride and when we arrived, found a place to snooze under the palm trees near the lagoon. A long wait. And while I worried about mechanicals and all things outside of my control, we tracked her progress and watched her cover the course.

The dismount line was carnage as usual with plenty of carbon hitting tarmac and bumper to bumper bodies in the penalty box. She screamed into sight before whisking away again to T2 she took her time, ate, drank, strapped and then she was there, looking two inches taller thanks to her Nike flys. She stopped for a quick chat and showed me that I was there with her for the run. She had a tiny picture of Marvin Martian strapped under her laces, omg I love this kid! 

She ran off into the distance chewing in a Friand. Her superfood. First of 4 laps we settled in for the unknown. She walked, ran her way through a stomach issue. Thankfully, Jay to the rescue with a quickeze before she could get down to business. She looked comfortable running through town and her run definitely lifted as she progressed into lap 3 further than any Keryn had been before. Kez stepped into the unknown for her final 20kms. Finally she ticked the third lap off and we saw her into her fourth lap before making our way to the finish line  to cheer in the racers ahead of her. We worked our way to the barrier and cheered, as best I could through a tightening throat. We cheered and clapped and finally, after Fourteen hours, there she was. Larger then life, still smiling, still tall and slender and strong. My baby girl, my angel, my strength, my love. She was there in front of us we grabbed her and held on to her telling her everything at once. We four hugged in a giant bear hug, our little family, so tight, so loving, so inspiring. We let her go and she turned to face the finish line. She ran towards the goal and reached out for it with both fists! 

To say I am a proud mum is an understatement, but I have no other words. Watching your kid battle, stand up after feeling concrete at her back, crawl her way back to the light, look to me for strength when she had temporarily lost hers, knowing she was lost, but wanting so badly to be found again, holding on so tightly and needing her mumma. And then to watch her stand up! to be there at the moment when she found her strength and showed you her true mettle was truly an honour beyond compare.

From the moment our eyes first met, I knew I would die for you! Your mumma.

So I bailed on Cairns….

When life gets in the way and you have to be responsible. Sux! 

After Husky, I was in a bit of a wake up moment. Oh geez, I didn’t do very well at all. Running and fitness well off. I loved the day don’t get me wrong. But it was a realisation that I am not the girl I once was. Not by a long stretch. But positive here. It’s been so long since I actually finished husky. Half the time I pulled out on part of the race, or did not even start.

Then I got sick. Not sure what it is. Not Covid, I got tested. But long flu, or fatigue. I have energy in the morning to do something. But it doesn’t last long. I can push if I needed to, but I’d prefer to sleep. It hasn’t eased any either.

Then work ramped up. I knew it was coming, but I didn’t know just how much. And I didn’t expect to be on my own. I’ll be flat out until June-Aug. 

So I canceled Cairns. I moved it back to Busso in December. 

Am I happy? Yes. I’m relieved. But very happy because I get to watch Kez do her first Ironman and see her over the line. It’s what I wanted. 

Back to the drawing board. 

Husky Race Report

“I’m confused! The math doesn’t add up.” During the run that was all that was going through my head. Where was everyone? Surely ok, I’m at the back, but shouldn’t they all be coming back out for their second lap of the run? But I’m too far ahead of myself so let’s go back to the beginning. 

I worked very hard to stay calm and not let the demons get to me pre-race. When I felt myself getting nervous, I breathed slow deep steady breaths until it passed. When I felt the overwhelming but familiar voice in my head saying “I don’t wanna….” I just thought about Kez being on course with me. Then she announced that she wanted to race with me. I tried hard to convince her not too, but she was hell bent on doing it with me, and now I’m glad she did.

We made transition with a comfortable relaxed pace and when everyone else was crammed trying to rack, we were already done. I went to the toilet and new I was in for a tough day. Nothing quite right there and a worrying sense of oh no… started, but I convinced myself that the ride would dehydrate me somewhat and I would deal with that later.

We made our way down to the tent and dropped our bags said hi to the ktc crew before heading to the water. It felt comforting to get in the water and do a warm up swim. Kez needed to check her goggles, new on race day always makes it a bit worrying. But she was good. We climbed out of the water and chatted with other ktc athletes doing the race. Before pretty soon it was our turn to get wet. Kez hung at the back end of the 40 and under group, and I moved forward to the 40+ group and in the end we entered the water together. She was gone by the first buoy. I tried to settle into my swim, find a rhythm. The first buoy took for ever to arrive and it was clear there was some undertow because I had to fight to swim up to the buoy and round it. From there you could feel the tide pushing you to the second buoy and another tough long rounding before heading to the third buoy. I had a couple of dark thoughts. It was interesting, I told myself they were little black clouds and to let them float on by. It worked. A couple of big guys swam close by, but other than that a pretty good swim. But I got tired towards the backend of the swim. Note to self, more long swims required in the river. 

I walked the long flight of stairs to transition. I fumbled for my zip which took forever to find and so it was a while before I could run. But run I did. Kez had been waiting in transition for me. Her swim a huge 10 mins quicker than mine. She ended up waiting 18mins for me. Yikes! 

It was so nice to see her waiting though. I quickly got changed and then we were walking out the the start line. We mounted and away. I was on the front. The plan she decided was for me to go in front and she would sit behind. In hindsight not a good idea. I worked hard more than I think I should have. But we did our 3 laps of husky backstreets and we stopped once each lap. The first time I was in so much pain where my undies line is. The rubbing on my legs from the kit was unbearable. I knew it was going to happen, so I had lathered Vaseline on my legs before hand but it didn’t work. I concocted a plan to rip the rigid tape off my knee and place over the rub marks. I stood with my hands down my crutch trying to attach the now wet and crumpled rigid tape to the top of my thigh it worked to relieve some of the rubbing. But I would pay for this decision badly later on. We carried on. We stopped two more times for quick stretches. We rolled through town each time to the cheers from jess and gaz and the ktc crew. I saw Coach out on course. He hollered at me as he screamed by. Nice to see him. When we finally rolled into town. I was pretty shattered. Now to run.

And then it all fell apart  I had nothing! Overbiking was a real issue and now I couldn’t break out of the jog/walk pattern and then the bowels decided to make a reappearance on the scene and while there was no real sense of urgency to visit the toilet, the cramp inside was real and with every step I could feel the downward pressure not fun. This led to frequent time in the toilet and a lot of walking. Eventually the cola and Powerade started to bring me back and a Panadol and a final trip to the loo made the cramp ease so that I could run again. From here I was so shattered it was hard to run still, but I feel like we did a negative split on the way home. With 2kms to go we were still laughing and singing and when we finally navigated the finish line, we finished with twin smiles and cheers to out little crowd waiting patiently for us.  

 

In Other News…..

Ok, so unexpectedly turned up for a body scan. I was pleasantly surprised this week when I started a radical and pretty harsh diet to lose some weight. The promise was up to a kilo or so. And I got the ..or so. So happy. But I know no calories can lead directly to impacting my performance. But at the end of the day, I didn’t go to badly with the training either..  I backed off the intensity on a couple of sessions knowing it would impact and I think it paid off.

So when kez and I dropped off a bike for service we skipped next door to get a body scan and to my absolute delight the scan repeated what I saw on the scales that morning. Some of the previous results saw my scores creeping into the ‘over’ category. So to see them back in the ‘normal’ range and to see reductions across all areas for measurements was a real motivation to keep on trucking the way I have been going.

Training has been good. Lots of solid sessions, getting it done and focusing on body, feel, and as I said, staying in the right range to not see too much residual fatigue building up. Sunday was a solid hit out with a ride with the ACC team. I was working hard, but not on the rivet 90kms done plus an 18km walk the day before saw both Kez and I getting it done and very happy. 

This week is again about focus on diet, lose weight rapidly and go easy on training without missing a sesh. However, it’s now Tuesday and we got out boosters so we decided to skip training tonight and rest.. we swam this morning and I got 3kms done so very happy and toodled along in my lane focusing on me. But! I had to check myself from comparing and judging and then giving myself a hard time. When am I going to learn? Anyway…….

Is this thing working???…..

What a shit week. I mean seriously! I have been running subpar all week. I even had to have a midday nap on a couple of days. Training also, not that great. I’m feeling loads of mixed emotions right now. Seriously body hating, worrying about not having enough training completed to be able to complete Husky long course in any reasonable time and without embarrassing myself. Losing confidence daily in myself and my abilities and just feeling fat and old. 

I have lost sight of my peers. It seems that laughing about getting to Kona through natural attrition has become a reality. But it also seems that I’m now part of the numbers that are dwindling out the back of the pack. I am now 15kgs overweight and I can’t get it off me. Far out! I also can’t see my peers anymore. I have to work hard to name a few and I get to about 4-5 and that’s it. Im looking for inspiration. Someone or people that can inspire me and lead me to success. It’s so frustrating. I’ve spent so much money in this to possibly fail, or worse, get bored, throw my hands in the air and give up. When is it ok to stop? Im not sure. Maybe I’m flogging a dead horse. Maybe my job was to just show Kez the way and then step aside? Seems very plausible. Seems right. 

Other part of me wants to soldier on for one more Ironman. see this through, finish and walk away. and then drop back to sprints. Have some fun whenever I feel like it. Do bike packing adventures with the family and then just do training with less load and no pressure.

It’s typical prerace, no training doubts. Bowel problems and prerace jitters I guess but I honestly thought the weight would drop off when I started to work again. Diet isn’t always on point, I’m a closet snacker and yes I indulge, but wowsers do I need to be 100% on? I’m currently at 75-76kgs that’s 15 kilos heavier than I was last Ironman and now I can’t get below 75. So drastic measures, engaged! Insert shakes, soups, berries and veggies. I’ll check in next week with update. 

Slowly the positive side of me will return somehow. x

Weekly Recap

In review, A somewhat frustrating and disheartening week unfortunately. 

I just couldn’t seem to get my mojo back.

It’s funny, the family have had 4 weeks together away from work. We have had a wonderful time together. But we all are seeking routine. Interesting, that we complain about the mundane but crave the routine tasks of predictable and comfort. I like the security, the consistency, the routine, the not having to think, the not wasting energy on change. I like knowing Tuesday is bike/swim day.

I was feeling disheartened late last week because I was comparing my journey against others. What the hell is with that? Too much time on the socials and not enough time doing I suspect. Yesterday I just felt blech all day. Went out on a 100km bike ride, to only hit something in the road and smash a tyre and rim. Limp home and lay on the lounge all day. I finally got up and added a 40km Zwift sesh in to help ease the pain. 

The scales don’t move! So fucking frustrating! 

Here’s to the start of another week. The aim is to, back to routine, tick all of the boxes, eat well, sleep well, stretch and find a strategy ready for next weekend. Oh and fix a wheel. 

The beat up

I’d love to be able to say confidently and honestly that I love my body. But the truth is I have mixed emotions. While sometimes I can see how strong I am (example riding 100kms on the bike last weekend) I more often am hating on myself. Too fat, too flabby, to weak, eating wrong, putting weight on…. The list of hate thoughts goes on. I try to remind myself that I am 56 now and it’s ‘ok’ but I am not satisfied with ‘it’s just ok’ I see it as a daily struggle and at night especially I chastise myself for eating that ‘wrong’ thing today only to climb onto the scales in the morning to see the ‘damage’. This years intention is to be kind to myself and learn to accept. Wish me luck.

On other news, I bought a bike. Yes another bike. A Cervelo Caledonia - Oasis. Mrs Plum, my wonderful Specialised roadie will go to my daughter. She gets the best hand-me-downs. My way of keeping her in my life, being fit and happy and can afford to get a good bike by buying mine. It’s a win all round. So following the Cluedo naming convention and the fact that the new bike is green (officially Oasis) Reverend Green or The Reverend! Will be arriving in February. 

I guess at the end of the day the takeaway here is that I’m not stopping anytime soon. Onward and upward, we continue to work. 

Off to the Physio

So a lot has changed over the years. One significant change is that I no longer have a coach. Stagnating in place was a waste of money and so I stopped coaching. A tough decision at the time but in a way, a huge relief. It took the pressure off. But I also lost my way. No coach though, meant also no physio as coach was both. It was ideal at the time because coach could change my program to suit the current injury or issue. But now I go by feel and train around what my body can do. There is a lot less pressure. 

A buddy put me on to this new guy. A young Italian physio who has a different approach to managing my chronic itb issues. He doesn’t hammer the fascia with hours of elbow dragging and needling. Instead he gets into the back of my calf. I can feel the tightness. Yikes!

Also, I had a frozen shoulder. Which was the original reason for going to see him. He has fixed it. But of course now the other shoulder is having troubles. But the physio is all part of Ironman and I go routinely for a treatment. 

I hope though that he can fix my hips. I put my hip out just before Christmas and it left me with some residual tightness in the glute. I think my hip may still be forward. So let’s hope for some positive corrections and so I can run again. 

Lost it….

Because no one reads this but me, I feel safe putting this here.

Where did it go? Far out. 9 years just disappeared in an instant. One minute I was an Ironman triathlete, the next…an old menopausal lady. We’ll post menopausal now to be honest. Constant itb issues ground me down, a program on repeat and try to improve, but never did, left me exhausted and deflated, and new job, lost love, study, injury and suddenly not only am I old, but grossly over weight and miserable also..

I thought signing up for Ironman again would be the motivation I needed to lose the weight. But frustratingly the weight continues to pile on because I am a closet eater. I didn’t realise until recently that I am always snacking. But also, I can’t break away from the sugar. I know I can’t drink alcohol and rarely do. My portions continue to be too big. Husband/chef is always giving me big portions and I have no will power to say stop and not clean my plate. 

While I am getting the training done, the results are not showing on the scales and it seems it’s getting worse!

We went bike packing for two days. Photos of course.

Here it is in all its chubby glory. My rational mind says, “hey Sammi, you’re 56 now and it’s ok to have a few extra pounds” of course Instagram, running with others half my age and being my own worse critic means that I am miserably unhappy with how I look. Regardless of how fit I might be - having ridden 110kms last weekend! Getting older is hard. I forget though, that’s the kicker! So today I bought….a new bike! Far out! And an expensive one at that. Shouldn’t I be winding down now? But I have inspiration. I have Mary, Susan, Angela, Sandra…. All women older than me being fit and healthy and out there. But all  skinnier than me and fit and trim. I need more inspiration from older women. A path to follow. I don’t want to give up, so I pick up my shit and keep going right?! 

Off to a Flying Start

So while the world kinda does back flips and spreads confusion and cooties, I, on the other hand am off to a flying start. I decided to change my training documenting. For years now I have kept a journal of a sorts and recorded my program, diet, outcome on training and thoughts and goals such as 'focus and process.' This year I simply bought a yearlong calendar and spent hours writing out a yearlong program.

Yep, I know. Very hard to write a program for a year and sail through it, injury and life get in the way. So, I wrote it out in pencil of course and gave myself permission to deviate under these circumstances, eraser at the ready. I have also given myself an 8-year-old kudos with stars as successful completion or application of the training. With rest days being Mondays and the year unfolding before me as a visual (stuck on the loungeroom wall) suddenly it seems do-able. With 8 stars already notched up, I'm feeling positive, ha, I know.......loooooong way to go! But there is no denying the work is there, visible to all, the commitment obvious as the days unroll and of course the multi coloured stars speaking volumes as I bank the training miles. Of course, Big Gazza has signed up as team Chef, Cheer Squad, Training Buddy and second Coach if I drop the ball on myself. I have decided to do this thing without a coach, some may say madness, but I'm feeling confident. There is a hint of a previous tried and true training program, with additional P.T, strength, balance and open water swims set by me and my love of spending time with my kid, The Amazing Waldo Pepper.

And then wham! Today we went out for an intended 100km IRL ride and I was feeling pretty good. Loads of energy. Captain was pushing the pace, so we were all out of our comfort zone pretty darn quickly. I don't get it. But anyway, I kept up and with that, blew up my knee. Worst it’s been in a long time. So, ice now for the next 2 days while we travel to Jindabyne for a training week away. I cut the 100 short, ended with 80. No point smashing it and not being able to back up on Monday with a trip up Charlottes Pass and Tom Groggins. So best intentions..... what have I learnt? Ride my own ride, don't stand up on the pedals for a while because that pisses the knee off. AND the 34-granny gear paid off for itself today as I left ol' mate behind on the hill. I know there was a moment where she was turning herself inside out to catch up. So happy.

It's a Brand New Day and a Brand New Year for Ironman

Yep, you read it here first Sammi is going back to Ironman again. Number 3. I always said I had another one in me. This time I am choosing an event, well that's flat and fast. No hills, but Port Mac I have done before Its time to change things up.

Fitz Challenge October 2018

What's the point of posting if you haven't got anything to say. And I guess from the looks of things I haven't had anything to say for about 10months now. Interesting for me considering I always have an opinion or a comment about most things - annoyingly so, some would say. But today I feel moved to post.

 

Yesterday was the Fitz Challenge. I signed up for the 105km distance with good mate Lil (de-identified of course). We had Stixxy meant to join us, but injury claimed her and very reluctantly and sadly we had to carry on without her. the 105 distance saw us travelling from Stromlo Nature Park to Tharwa Village return. Some truly stunning Aussie bush countryside with farms and rivers and trees, large boulders, livestock and a nose full of dead critters. Enough rotting stinky roos, wombats, snakes and one poor wee turtle to fill one nose for a life time. Luckily the flies weren't out in their usual millions and the magpies were fairly sedate now they have fledglings to worry over.

 

The night before the ride saw the Southern Riders Cycle Club (SRCC) indulging ourselves on pale ale and ginger beer as thick as syrup at the Canberra Bent Spoke Brewery before we stumbled across to Debacle, a pizza come Schnitty Restaurant and I had the pork ribs. With a few more drinks under the belt the team unplanned, decided to provide me with some tough love and an intervention that left me feeling a little squirmy. But nothing they said wasn't true....unfortunately. While I have absolutely no bad blood with AP10 at all. I did stall on the grid for probably 2-3 years. I have made no forward progression at all since Ironman 2013 (yes I know that's 5 years) in part due to ITB issues and the torn knee cartilage, but also due to the pressure. Perhaps self imposed, but there nonetheless. I had started to dread Monday nights, Saturday morning rides became the book of excuses and I think I was up to #1034, honestly. I stayed 12 months too long and finally when the umbilical cord snapped when work and life, study and the planets aligned, I had to let go of the white knuckle ride and let AP10 drop. Something The Onion Man and Roberto had identified well before, but what do you do when loyalty has a strangle hold. Anyway, the tough love rolled out with the momentum of an avalanche and the juggernaut continued as it gathered speed. In the end the truth was, I had waited too long, lost too much love and joy for what I was doing. I had lost my way and allowed stress to stop me in my tracks. They were all passive observers while I floundered, and to their credit each held their tongue. But now they have scooped me up into their 'club' with no judgement, only genuine care and the friendship that had always been there, and has been reborn. I feel joy again. A great feeling.

 

So, for the first time in so many years, I'm keen to train again. Saturday mornings see me jumping out of bed to start our rides. I'm not worried at all about being dropped as we each look out for each other. I feel motivated and care about the team knowing they each have my back too. Its safe here! And when we woke up in the morning to start our ride for Fitz I was super excited, but also calm and not stressed - no pressure. (and it is important to acknowledge here that the pressure was always self imposed!) but when you run with Champions, there is a great deal of pressure to perform.

 

Anyway, Fitz's was here and after a roll around Canberra's Lake Burleigh Griffin and enjoying the day with good friends, I was ready.

 

Lil and I rode out after the starters gun and made our way along the beautiful roads of Stromlo it was a great ride and we felt comfortable for the first 60kms out to Tharwa. I took my turns on the front and tried to stay conscious of the power we were putting out along the roads and hills. I stayed comfortably climbing at around 130watts so fairly good. We arrived at Tharwa as the day was starting to heat up. While we stood in the heat eating oranges, cake, lollies and filling up our water bottles, to our surprise we looked over to see Gazza jumping out of the Sag Wagon, oh dear. He had snapped a chain on his ride for 165kms. Luckily I had my credit card with me and the bike mechanic had chains available (fortuitous) and so we were three for the ride home. And that is when I fell in a hole. Hot, tired legs, no chatter, battling. Upon reflection I think the following needed to happen:

 

1. Less time on the front
2. 1 x water bidon, 1 x Electrolyte bidon
3. Drink every 10mins - set alerts
4. a lot more fuel. 1 x gel every hour as a minimum
5. Salt tablets
6. Caffeine
7. Consider changing fuel to Torq gels and Infinite or Tail Wind for Electrolytes
8. More hills at the end of our Saturday rides
9. More hill climbing during the week on Zwift
10. Sit in the shade at the aid stations if I can
11. Stretch and regular maintenance massages

The little bike went like a champion. The seat is fantastic now and the kit looked and felt great. AND I seriously need to lose some weight for crying out loud. Every kilo I lose is a 7 watt advantage!

But in the end I came back strong. At the 'Gravel Pit' aid station I downed a Gel, drank a heap, ate lollies and poured water over my head to cool me down. A salt tablet also and after 10mins, suddenly I was back and driving off the front up the final hill. It was there all along, I just needed better nutrition management and strategies for managing the heat. Funny that!

Now as I sit here typing this, I feel great. I feel happy, energetic and not completely fried. But looking forward to the next adventure which is the Alpine Classic. 200kms of climbing. Bring it on!

 

But first some more fun with Roberto and The Onion Man at Husky 1. Yes, there may well be some stress there for sure. But at least I have found a kit that fits. whew!

2018 off to a flying start......

So, September hey! Wow, I guess for me there has been heaps going on but none of it really related to triathlon and chasing the illusive black line to Ironman. The arthroscopy on the knee has taken its time to settle. But honestly, there is no hurry really.  In  a huge shift, I had to cancel coaching with AP in November 2017. I feel like I have lost my soul, my direction and my mate. I'm left flopping about aimlessly, but still busy as the study and work is all consuming at the moment. So I am left to my own devises, with no coach. I guess I know what to do to get back to fitness and the slow steps literally  means walking and so there isn't much technical program development skill required for walking. So 2018, means I'm flying solo while I try to manage all the other conflicting priorities. So for now, this blog is renamed, chasing the black line back to Sammi, the black line on the scales and the tape measure. Or maybe I should call it, chasing the black line back to Coach and AP10. I'll keep you posted.

All Green Lights........

Hey Coach, update from the bench. Dr Musgrove is very happy with the results, says if I were a pro athlete he'd play me this weekend . So I guess I'm ready to get off the bench Coach, except that I woke up with the flu this morning and very well might be dead by the weekend!

Says that my D shaped meniscus is now a C shape after he cut away the tear and he was totally surprised at the lack of swelling when he examined my knee. Says he wishes he could claim credit for that but says I'm lucky. I had a ganglion in the back of my knee he suspects from a previous injury. I think possibly when I fell last time on that knee, he says the ganglion was getting in the way so he removed it..

I'm feeling really good on the knee, better than pre op with no pain except for locally behind where the stitches were.

Dr Musgrove says back to swim, bike, cross trainer, 6 weeks look at running stuff. Of course we are in no screaming hurry for that, plenty of time. Onward and upward for the come back kid.

 

A Stitch in Time........

A week down already. Happy to say the foot is planted firmly on the ground and I am walking a whole heap better. So happy too because the butt/glute and the calf were experiencing a couple of tight spots because of the limping. Stretching was problematic as I couldn't straighten the leg fully. But I think the mobility is getting a lot better. Anyway, all that matters is I have made positive moves forward.

Today was another physio session and Coach offered to remove the stitches. I just nodded and continued the conversation, which was going 100 miles an hour and filled with laughter, as usual. I have to say my physio treatment is good for body, mind and soul and if we can throw a little triathlon in there occasionally, well, I aint complaining. So, a nice way to finish the work week and an early finish. Now for a movie and a square of dark chocolate..

Back at the Starting Blocks Once Again..........

Ahhh  That moment when you knew it was time to hit the showers, cause Coach had blown the proverbial whistle and pointed in the general direction of home...
 
That familiar feeling of sitting on the bench waiting to be called into the game.....
 
That final green light moment when you have finally sorted some shit out and brushed yourself off and know you need to get ready..... TO GET BACK IN THE GAME!
 
IT'S DAY ONE....... Of the best Come Back story you are going to see for a while. Big hype for a little girl, I know. Hey Someone has to do the dreaming, so may as well be me, I say.
 
Quick recap.
 
Since December 9, 2016 I have been hobbling around with a torn meniscus to the left knee after a fall while out for a training run. Damn tree seed pods rolled under my foot and brought me down like a tonne of bricks. From there it has been a solid 9 months trying to rehab the knee. To no avail, and so 3 days ago I went under the knife and had the ol' pesky cartilage cleaned up.

Insert cool post op photos. (And sneaky cute smooshy, puppy face)
 







So sexy, matches the other scar from a few years back and another fall. I was feeling pretty darn good prior to that fall too, just quietly. Darn it! And the other knee is pretty much the same.

So now it is a waiting game for the stitches to come out. But already, day 3 and I am walking around and putting weight on the foot. No crutches or pain killers required. Because I am a tough ol' bird and that's how I roll AND I can better use the Panadeine Forte for during the Ironman race. shhhhhh don't tell anyone the 'Come Back Kid' plan includes another I.M bid......

She Reins Supreme........

I saw QueenB this morning. Arghhhhh she looks amazing. Good on her. Easily a size 10 and probably weighing about 62kgs. She looks fit, taught and terrific. Meanwhile, I sit here eating dinner and my belly is pushing my boobs up under my chin. Oh my! She was spruiking about signing up for I.M Cairns. Oh way to rub it in!

I saw the incredible and stunning Ms Onions this morning. She dropped by with some Kombucha for Big Gazza. She looks amazing having lost around 30kgs now. All of which has landed on my lower back and a$$.

Big Gazza has lost 3kgs after a painful stint in hospital with Diverticulitis. Luckily, I found it, picked it up and attached it to my arms.

Seriously though, what the hell. No running is an obvious weight gainer for me. But it seems almost out of my control now. While everyone around me seems to be dropping weight, I am finding it and putting in it my purse. Something needs to change significantly.

Back on the Road.......

So this morning I woke up at 4:45am. I was awake so rather than go back to sleep for an hour and 15minutes, I got up. I decided to join the 5am club earlier this year after listening to Robin Sharma tell me of all the benefits. And I have to say I agree. One of the biggest changes has been to my sleep. I can now say...95% of the time I sleep through the night in a solid block. Years, I tell ya, years! since I have slept like this. So 5am it is, or just before. It's such a productive time, I did some study and then Big Gazza got up at 6am and we started our day.

The aim originally was to have the gang ride together. It was such a shame not to have everyone together. Roberto pulled the pin in the morning after a big night on the wine....someone has to intervene here, I think. And MrsS and The Mountain Goat stayed close to home and went out a little later in the day.

So it was just me, Big Gazza, The Onion Man and The Plasma. The boys seemed to be doing it easy, while I huffed and puffed along behind them. I felt like I was riding hard the whole way, not shattered, but working hard. A couple of small hills saw me dropped out the back :( But it was over before too long and we finished with 52kms. Yep, a whole 52kms!

Its interesting to watch the body work sometimes, the body does its thing and yep, it might be groaning and creaking from lack of use, fair enough. But the mind is such a sabotaging bitch sometimes. Wow, such a great positive reinforcement of ones abilities......boo hoo let's stop, this hurts, I don't want to do it anymore, why does it have to be so cold, aren't you to old for this? Shouldn't you be in bed. That kind of sabotage. You would think that at least your own brain would work and be on your side. I mean geez, you need a bestie at times and you can't even rely on yourself!

Having listened to Tony Robbins now I understand that the brain is wired for negativity as a defence system in case there is a lion in the bushes, so be on guard, everything just might eat you. Knowing this now, makes me understand and able to deal with it a bit better. Still doesn't come easy when you are hurting and the boys are pulling away up the hill. But awareness is the beginning of change hey.

So now I have to decide what to do next weekend. Head North with Coach. He wants me to go and I think I should, its just that I am embarrassingly under prepared and its going to hurt. I haven't ridden North for such a long time and yes it will be cold. Geez, there's that Bitch again!!!

I'll keep you posted.  

Baby Elephant Chunks...........

So the come back has started. A great couple of swims so that this morning I felt pretty comfortable throughout the entire 3km set. I have made a date with The Onion Man now a few times and I have really enjoyed swimming with him. He laps me every 6-8 laps so I try hard to be aware and keep left for him. He is an amazing swimmer. The commitment to meet up with him has seen me getting out of bed with enthusiasm. I'm missing Roberto like mad, but hopefully we will have him back on the road soon. But The Onion Man keeps me honest too. He doesn't stop swimming until I have my set done. So for my 3kms he has easily done 3.5 to 4ks.

I had another fun session with the music on blast with good mate MrsS. She needed a push to get started and admittedly so did I. So when the tunes started pumping through the speakers and the lights of the Rave playing on the TV started flashing, I found the old spark and enthusiasm. We had a good laugh and because its winter I turned the heater on and so before too long we were sweating buckets in the dark and counting down the minutes with each set. Well, 1:15mins later and the buddy had to dash off and I was left feeling relaxed and happy. Happy to be back in the saddle.

The diet has been hit and miss for a while. Mostly 80/20 clean so not too bad, but no weight loss. But I have been reading Tony Robbins' book, Awaken the Giant Within. Tony prompts that while not easy, we simply need to make a decision. What ever it is, just decide. Transfer the decision to discipline and make good practice a habit. I had success with this with the 5am club of which I am now no longer a rookie trial member, but have signed up, subscribed and now a valued member of the 5am club. And, I have successfully rewired my neural pathways so that now, for the first time in so many years, I am sleeping through the night. It stands to reason that I can choose another thing I would like to change about me, make a decision, decide, apply discipline and subscribe until it becomes a habit. While I can't take on the whole list (as Big Gazza says the list is soooo long) I can choose the top couple to focus on. So the 'to do' list is diet and TV. (Next blog stay tuned)

Meanwhile,
Next step.... hmm, the road back to Triathlete has so many options. Let's see. I think importantly, I need to get back out on the road again. Find some hills. But first a cruise around the bock would be good too.

I heard something that stuck with me today from a Blog

The excuses you make are lies; and are apparent to everyone else but you!