Finally, the itch has been scratched....

This might be quite possibly my last post. It's only been 12+ years. But here it is. Finally!

Its Christmas day here is Aus and around the world. The team are outside demolishing the back deck and so I figure it's an ideal time to write a race report.

To set the scene.... Many, many moons ago, I saw myself completing at least 3 Ironman events. Having completed 2 x Port Macs, I wanted flat and fast and so of course Busselton 'Busso' was calling. Those magical huts and the long jetty, super flat and fast bike course might have seen a 6-hour bike time and then a flat run along the beach with views for days. But a chronic ITB issue and then a torn meniscus, and never being able to run held me back. On top of this my old job and a bully got in the way. And then a life change and study were calling. Oh yeah, add menopause and I went from a svelte athlete to an average midlife lady with a little too much weight. On the flip side, my career progressed and took on a lot more responsibility. While I don't regret my current position. The third and final Ironman itch had never been scratched. 

Friends would ask me if I would ever do another Ironman? My answer was always "Never say Never!" But as the years passed, the question stopped being asked. And even I stopped dreaming of a comeback.

It didn't stop me having adventures though, and I have had an amazing time. Mostly cycling but hiking as well. So, the legs remained strong. The tear was fixed as good as gold and the years made the chronic inflammation ease. Additionally, we threw in Covid and the indoor trainer became our go to, to keep fit. 

With so many kms, years and events under my belt. AND, feeling particularly fit and energized one day, I signed up. I didn't tell anyone for quite some time. But finally announced / confessed to the team that I had signed up. This was well before Kez had truly started training, but now she was keen to train with me. And in two minutes decided she may as well join me and do the event. Flipping back in time in a previous post where she completed her first Ironman in Cairns.

2 years of Covid and life in the way. Even after Cairns I held my breath and waited to see if the fire lit in my belly once again. Kez was headed for Busso. Could I join her. Funnily enough the swim was daunting. First time ever, I was worried about the distance. I knew it would hurt. With no river swims under my belt and max distance for sets being approx. 1500-1800. Well under cooked. Biggest ride 100kms and run......8kms every week with one 14km run. Yes, well undercooked.

Trying to manage my menopause and excess weight gain, I had engaged the support of a Naturopath. Part of the regime was a couple of supplements that were trying to manage the stress of work, reset cortisol and stress hormones as well as lose weight. No shift in the scales across the final 6 months of training as I was hitting the protein through shakes and eating for energy and fuel. But noticeably was the calmness I felt.

We packed Lil Cervi, Miss Scarlet and Ollie and headed for Busso. I was calm. I stayed calm all the way up to the start line. I literally stood on the sand with Kez and chatted happily. I knew it was going to be a long day. But we were together. 

My 'why' had changed. Now no longer interested in beating times and competing and heading for podiums, I was focused on an amazing day with my beautiful daughter, and I got exactly what I asked for.

We ran into the water together. Excited and playing p to the camera. The water was incredible. Warm and clear. I could see every detail. We swam under the jetty that we had walked along just days before and headed for the long back straight down to the far buoy. It was a tough swim. Flat on the surface, but the tide was pushing us out and we had to fight the entire time. We rounded the buoy and back to teh start, we ran out of the water to do the in and out and quite honestly, I was spent, but knew I had to go again. another 2kms to go. Back into the tide, 1:37 swim.

T1. Kez was cold. She was struggling to get her cap off even. I helped her out of her wetsuit and cap before focusing on getting ready for the bike. Even my T1 time and ride kit told story of 'here for a fun time, not a fast time.' We headed out for the ride and into a head wind. It was a tough day. 45km winds with bullets gusting sideways with very little tail wind. We stopped regularly (even to go to the toilet) ate lots of lollies and chatted. I sat on Kezza's wheel the entire time. Together with our legal distance respected, we covered the 180kms comfortably. I even felt like I still had energy as we came into T2. Now that was unexpected, but I was really happy to feel like I had legs. 7:04 moving time.

T2 saw another costume change. Into matching running gear, we headed out into the sun. Yes, it was still sunny. We managed 2 laps before the sun started to set. It was a great run course. Flat, broken up with lots of features, D.Js, jetty, Centre of the spectator hub, great volunteers and really well-placed aid stations. We laughed, grunted and Fartlek'd our way through the kms. A Marathon can feel a very long way at times. But it is funny how the hours tick by. The course grew quiet, the spectators thinned, and we kept out jog / walk plan up to the end. A few places were too dark for confident running, and I was fearful we would join the walking dead, but we managed to keep going, even after my right knee gave up and Kezza's knee too. I looked at my watch to discover that if we kept the pressure on, we would beat my previous marathon time, I didn't tell Kez, but it kept me moving forward, 6:34, just under.

It was finally our turn to go left instead of straight. We turned into the chute to be met by the wining female. But we didn't care. We were winners. We had spent the entire 16:20hours together, laughing and celebrating out life together, our achievements, our love. We hugged and told each other our "I Love You's" and then walked hand in hand triumphantly for the red carpet. It was easy to find Jess and Gaz as there were only a handful of people at the finishing line now. 

Our medals swinging proudly, we headed home to bed.

So, my mind turns to my WHY.

No longer caught up in the race or life, but the quality of life. Quality spent with family. It's time to say I'm done and I'm ok with that. I don't see myself competing again. But I will always be an Ironman and a hero to my beautiful girl.

The Kid Becomes an IRONMAN

And so the great day has been and gone. Time marches on. But what an amazing day it was! 

She was so relaxed during the lead up to Cairns. She did everything I asked of her and more. She listened and executed her planned training to a tee and then come race day she put it all together in what turned out to be a brilliant race. 

Race morning she was calm and relaxed. We strolled through the early morning haze and hushed voices to transition. We likened it to a scene from the Walking Dead with a sea of quiet soles walking in the same direction. Each lost in their own thoughts. She disappeared into the crowd to find Scarlet who had spent the night hanging from the racks. 

Prepped and in her wetsuit we strolled down to the beach, a few hundred meters from our hotel and watched the pros leave. She had a warm up swim and declared the water warm, before she hugged us goodbye and started her day. I wanted to give her some words of strength. I didn’t quite get it right, but I think she knew what I meant. She slipped under the banner and into the water. We could see the entire swim course which was great and we tracked her progress. 

We walked down the beach and made our way slowly up to the swim exit and waited for her to arrive. It looked like a tough swim with a lumpy exit. Waves made it hard for swimmers to get out. But before we knew it, there she was. Pulling herself to upright before trotting up the sand and with a wave, she ran into transition. 

We caught her again at the mount line. She was away with a fist pump salute. She looked resplendent in her KTC tri suit and socks, Scarlet bedazzled in the sunshine. 

We boarded a shuttle bus and headed for Cairns. We grabbed a quick nap on the long ride and when we arrived, found a place to snooze under the palm trees near the lagoon. A long wait. And while I worried about mechanicals and all things outside of my control, we tracked her progress and watched her cover the course.

The dismount line was carnage as usual with plenty of carbon hitting tarmac and bumper to bumper bodies in the penalty box. She screamed into sight before whisking away again to T2 she took her time, ate, drank, strapped and then she was there, looking two inches taller thanks to her Nike flys. She stopped for a quick chat and showed me that I was there with her for the run. She had a tiny picture of Marvin Martian strapped under her laces, omg I love this kid! 

She ran off into the distance chewing in a Friand. Her superfood. First of 4 laps we settled in for the unknown. She walked, ran her way through a stomach issue. Thankfully, Jay to the rescue with a quickeze before she could get down to business. She looked comfortable running through town and her run definitely lifted as she progressed into lap 3 further than any Keryn had been before. Kez stepped into the unknown for her final 20kms. Finally she ticked the third lap off and we saw her into her fourth lap before making our way to the finish line  to cheer in the racers ahead of her. We worked our way to the barrier and cheered, as best I could through a tightening throat. We cheered and clapped and finally, after Fourteen hours, there she was. Larger then life, still smiling, still tall and slender and strong. My baby girl, my angel, my strength, my love. She was there in front of us we grabbed her and held on to her telling her everything at once. We four hugged in a giant bear hug, our little family, so tight, so loving, so inspiring. We let her go and she turned to face the finish line. She ran towards the goal and reached out for it with both fists! 

To say I am a proud mum is an understatement, but I have no other words. Watching your kid battle, stand up after feeling concrete at her back, crawl her way back to the light, look to me for strength when she had temporarily lost hers, knowing she was lost, but wanting so badly to be found again, holding on so tightly and needing her mumma. And then to watch her stand up! to be there at the moment when she found her strength and showed you her true mettle was truly an honour beyond compare.

From the moment our eyes first met, I knew I would die for you! Your mumma.

So I bailed on Cairns….

When life gets in the way and you have to be responsible. Sux! 

After Husky, I was in a bit of a wake up moment. Oh geez, I didn’t do very well at all. Running and fitness well off. I loved the day don’t get me wrong. But it was a realisation that I am not the girl I once was. Not by a long stretch. But positive here. It’s been so long since I actually finished husky. Half the time I pulled out on part of the race, or did not even start.

Then I got sick. Not sure what it is. Not Covid, I got tested. But long flu, or fatigue. I have energy in the morning to do something. But it doesn’t last long. I can push if I needed to, but I’d prefer to sleep. It hasn’t eased any either.

Then work ramped up. I knew it was coming, but I didn’t know just how much. And I didn’t expect to be on my own. I’ll be flat out until June-Aug. 

So I canceled Cairns. I moved it back to Busso in December. 

Am I happy? Yes. I’m relieved. But very happy because I get to watch Kez do her first Ironman and see her over the line. It’s what I wanted. 

Back to the drawing board. 

Husky Race Report

“I’m confused! The math doesn’t add up.” During the run that was all that was going through my head. Where was everyone? Surely ok, I’m at the back, but shouldn’t they all be coming back out for their second lap of the run? But I’m too far ahead of myself so let’s go back to the beginning. 

I worked very hard to stay calm and not let the demons get to me pre-race. When I felt myself getting nervous, I breathed slow deep steady breaths until it passed. When I felt the overwhelming but familiar voice in my head saying “I don’t wanna….” I just thought about Kez being on course with me. Then she announced that she wanted to race with me. I tried hard to convince her not too, but she was hell bent on doing it with me, and now I’m glad she did.

We made transition with a comfortable relaxed pace and when everyone else was crammed trying to rack, we were already done. I went to the toilet and new I was in for a tough day. Nothing quite right there and a worrying sense of oh no… started, but I convinced myself that the ride would dehydrate me somewhat and I would deal with that later.

We made our way down to the tent and dropped our bags said hi to the ktc crew before heading to the water. It felt comforting to get in the water and do a warm up swim. Kez needed to check her goggles, new on race day always makes it a bit worrying. But she was good. We climbed out of the water and chatted with other ktc athletes doing the race. Before pretty soon it was our turn to get wet. Kez hung at the back end of the 40 and under group, and I moved forward to the 40+ group and in the end we entered the water together. She was gone by the first buoy. I tried to settle into my swim, find a rhythm. The first buoy took for ever to arrive and it was clear there was some undertow because I had to fight to swim up to the buoy and round it. From there you could feel the tide pushing you to the second buoy and another tough long rounding before heading to the third buoy. I had a couple of dark thoughts. It was interesting, I told myself they were little black clouds and to let them float on by. It worked. A couple of big guys swam close by, but other than that a pretty good swim. But I got tired towards the backend of the swim. Note to self, more long swims required in the river. 

I walked the long flight of stairs to transition. I fumbled for my zip which took forever to find and so it was a while before I could run. But run I did. Kez had been waiting in transition for me. Her swim a huge 10 mins quicker than mine. She ended up waiting 18mins for me. Yikes! 

It was so nice to see her waiting though. I quickly got changed and then we were walking out the the start line. We mounted and away. I was on the front. The plan she decided was for me to go in front and she would sit behind. In hindsight not a good idea. I worked hard more than I think I should have. But we did our 3 laps of husky backstreets and we stopped once each lap. The first time I was in so much pain where my undies line is. The rubbing on my legs from the kit was unbearable. I knew it was going to happen, so I had lathered Vaseline on my legs before hand but it didn’t work. I concocted a plan to rip the rigid tape off my knee and place over the rub marks. I stood with my hands down my crutch trying to attach the now wet and crumpled rigid tape to the top of my thigh it worked to relieve some of the rubbing. But I would pay for this decision badly later on. We carried on. We stopped two more times for quick stretches. We rolled through town each time to the cheers from jess and gaz and the ktc crew. I saw Coach out on course. He hollered at me as he screamed by. Nice to see him. When we finally rolled into town. I was pretty shattered. Now to run.

And then it all fell apart  I had nothing! Overbiking was a real issue and now I couldn’t break out of the jog/walk pattern and then the bowels decided to make a reappearance on the scene and while there was no real sense of urgency to visit the toilet, the cramp inside was real and with every step I could feel the downward pressure not fun. This led to frequent time in the toilet and a lot of walking. Eventually the cola and Powerade started to bring me back and a Panadol and a final trip to the loo made the cramp ease so that I could run again. From here I was so shattered it was hard to run still, but I feel like we did a negative split on the way home. With 2kms to go we were still laughing and singing and when we finally navigated the finish line, we finished with twin smiles and cheers to out little crowd waiting patiently for us.  

 

In Other News…..

Ok, so unexpectedly turned up for a body scan. I was pleasantly surprised this week when I started a radical and pretty harsh diet to lose some weight. The promise was up to a kilo or so. And I got the ..or so. So happy. But I know no calories can lead directly to impacting my performance. But at the end of the day, I didn’t go to badly with the training either..  I backed off the intensity on a couple of sessions knowing it would impact and I think it paid off.

So when kez and I dropped off a bike for service we skipped next door to get a body scan and to my absolute delight the scan repeated what I saw on the scales that morning. Some of the previous results saw my scores creeping into the ‘over’ category. So to see them back in the ‘normal’ range and to see reductions across all areas for measurements was a real motivation to keep on trucking the way I have been going.

Training has been good. Lots of solid sessions, getting it done and focusing on body, feel, and as I said, staying in the right range to not see too much residual fatigue building up. Sunday was a solid hit out with a ride with the ACC team. I was working hard, but not on the rivet 90kms done plus an 18km walk the day before saw both Kez and I getting it done and very happy. 

This week is again about focus on diet, lose weight rapidly and go easy on training without missing a sesh. However, it’s now Tuesday and we got out boosters so we decided to skip training tonight and rest.. we swam this morning and I got 3kms done so very happy and toodled along in my lane focusing on me. But! I had to check myself from comparing and judging and then giving myself a hard time. When am I going to learn? Anyway…….

Is this thing working???…..

What a shit week. I mean seriously! I have been running subpar all week. I even had to have a midday nap on a couple of days. Training also, not that great. I’m feeling loads of mixed emotions right now. Seriously body hating, worrying about not having enough training completed to be able to complete Husky long course in any reasonable time and without embarrassing myself. Losing confidence daily in myself and my abilities and just feeling fat and old. 

I have lost sight of my peers. It seems that laughing about getting to Kona through natural attrition has become a reality. But it also seems that I’m now part of the numbers that are dwindling out the back of the pack. I am now 15kgs overweight and I can’t get it off me. Far out! I also can’t see my peers anymore. I have to work hard to name a few and I get to about 4-5 and that’s it. Im looking for inspiration. Someone or people that can inspire me and lead me to success. It’s so frustrating. I’ve spent so much money in this to possibly fail, or worse, get bored, throw my hands in the air and give up. When is it ok to stop? Im not sure. Maybe I’m flogging a dead horse. Maybe my job was to just show Kez the way and then step aside? Seems very plausible. Seems right. 

Other part of me wants to soldier on for one more Ironman. see this through, finish and walk away. and then drop back to sprints. Have some fun whenever I feel like it. Do bike packing adventures with the family and then just do training with less load and no pressure.

It’s typical prerace, no training doubts. Bowel problems and prerace jitters I guess but I honestly thought the weight would drop off when I started to work again. Diet isn’t always on point, I’m a closet snacker and yes I indulge, but wowsers do I need to be 100% on? I’m currently at 75-76kgs that’s 15 kilos heavier than I was last Ironman and now I can’t get below 75. So drastic measures, engaged! Insert shakes, soups, berries and veggies. I’ll check in next week with update. 

Slowly the positive side of me will return somehow. x

Weekly Recap

In review, A somewhat frustrating and disheartening week unfortunately. 

I just couldn’t seem to get my mojo back.

It’s funny, the family have had 4 weeks together away from work. We have had a wonderful time together. But we all are seeking routine. Interesting, that we complain about the mundane but crave the routine tasks of predictable and comfort. I like the security, the consistency, the routine, the not having to think, the not wasting energy on change. I like knowing Tuesday is bike/swim day.

I was feeling disheartened late last week because I was comparing my journey against others. What the hell is with that? Too much time on the socials and not enough time doing I suspect. Yesterday I just felt blech all day. Went out on a 100km bike ride, to only hit something in the road and smash a tyre and rim. Limp home and lay on the lounge all day. I finally got up and added a 40km Zwift sesh in to help ease the pain. 

The scales don’t move! So fucking frustrating! 

Here’s to the start of another week. The aim is to, back to routine, tick all of the boxes, eat well, sleep well, stretch and find a strategy ready for next weekend. Oh and fix a wheel.